Thankful to God

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day and even though there are thousands of things that are going terribly wrong in our world, there are still millions of reasons to be thankful.

However, in this era of political correctness, we will see movies and TV commercials of people giving thanks for family, friends and food, but no one will mention to whom they are directing all of this gratitude.

It really doesn't make sense to talk about how thankful you are if you don’t talk about the object of your gratitude. You don’t just throw these kinds of words into the air.

If someone opens a door for you and allows you to walk into a building first, you don’t just say I’m thankful for that. You say, “Thank you!” to the person who performed the kind deed. Yet, we live in a time of so much pressure against a Biblical Christian world-view that we now sit back and receive this ridicules notion of being thankful (to nothing or no one in particular) for our good fortune and blessings.

We can sing ‘God Bless America’ at sporting events, but we can’t simply say, "I thank God for blessing me to have a family, a place to sleep, and breath in my body." Why bother to sing God Bless America if it’s politically incorrect and offensive to thank God when He blesses us? It’s crazy, isn’t it?

So make no mistake about it, the Urban Life Church family gives thanks to God. We will do it, not only tomorrow as we gather with our families and friends, but every day as we live our lives to the praise of His glory.

1 Chronicles 16:8
Oh, give thanks to the LORD! Call upon His name; Make known His deeds among the peoples!

Psalm 18:49
Therefore I will give thanks to You, O LORD, among the Gentiles, And sing praises to Your name.

Psalm 30:4
Sing praise to the LORD, you saints of His, And give thanks at the remembrance of His holy name.

Psalm 35:18
I will give You thanks in the great assembly; I will praise You among many people.

Psalm 75:1
We give thanks to You, O God, we give thanks! For Your wondrous works declare that Your name is near.

Psalm 92:1
It is good to give thanks to the LORD, And to sing praises to Your name, O Most High;

Psalm 105:1
Oh, give thanks to the LORD! Call upon His name; Make known His deeds among the peoples!

Psalm 106:1
Praise the LORD! Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever.

Psalm 140:13
Surely the righteous shall give thanks to Your name; The upright shall dwell in Your presence.

1 Thessalonians 5:18
…in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.



May you have a Blessed Thanksgiving Holiday!

Be Still and Know That I Am God

You never know what’s up ahead of you on the road of life; especially when the Lord sends exhortations like what He’s been giving us. Over the past couple of weeks we’ve been teaching from the topic Assured and Secured in Your Relationship with God.

We began with a couple of weeks of teaching, followed by a couple weeks of answering questions. We even talked about following the leading of the Holy Spirit in moments of crisis.

This past Saturday night, we received a phone call from our nephew, that grandpa (Carol’s dad) had been hospitalized and wasn’t doing well. We learned he had actually been in the hospital all week. Not realizing just how serious his condition was, we decided that we would go see him the next day, immediately after our Sunday Gathering.

During the night we could feel a great stirring in our hearts. Even as we prepared for our weekly time of worship and teaching, we knew that the meeting was not going to go according to any planned agenda. From the start, the Holy Spirit moved upon us in travailing prayer after we sang the song, I Just Know We Win.
The opening lyrics of that tune declare,

I just know when life goes wrong to give a sacrifice of praise.
I just know when I’m in a storm to give a sacrifice of praise.
I just know when I’m in a mess to give a sacrifice of praise.
I just know in strife and stress to give a sacrifice of praise.

The Spirit of God led us to Psalm 61:1-4 which reads: “Hear my cry, O God; Attend to my prayer. From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For You have been a shelter for me, a strong tower from the enemy. I will abide in Your tabernacle forever; I will trust in the shelter of Your wings.”

The Spirit of God moved upon one sister and she began to sing as the Lord gave her a prophetic word for the church family in the form of a song. Part of the song came from Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God!”

Afterwards, I shared briefly with everyone about Carol’s father and told them of our plans to go to the hospital immediately afterwards. However, I asked all the women to pray. So the wonderful women of our church family gathered around my wife and prayed for her. They uttered profound, faith-filled, powerful prayers that flowed in agreement with what the Holy Spirit was speaking.

The Lord impressed Carol’s mother, to have us to sing a song called You Are Here. Part of those lyrics:

You are here in our midst. How we’ve waited for moments like this.
Have your way in this place; Holy Spirit come do as you wish.
We are changed as you move in our midst.

There was such a gentle and sweeping move of the Lord as we wept in His presence.

In closing, the Lord gave me a word of encouragement taken from the Bible passage where Joseph spoke to his brothers in Genesis 50:20, “But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.”

As we prepared to leave for the day, Carol received a call from her nephew to let us know that her dad had passed away. From the time that he indicated that he passed on, it was at the same time the women were praying for her.

As I hugged my stunned and disappointed wife, I heard the Words the Lord had just given us during the meeting, “Be still and know that I am God.” Carol's mom expressed that she was thankful that even though they had separated and divorced many years ago, she could honestly say that there was no bitterness in her heart towards her ex-husband and father of her children. Even though saddened by the news, she had indeed been healed by the power of forgiveness.

We cannot explain why it happened this way. We desperately wanted to see my father in law one more time. We wanted to go to the hospital in the glory of that service and pray for Him. But we bow humbly to the sovereign Lord of our lives.

These are the times that we realize why we must be assured and secure in our relationship with God. These are the times you find out if you truly have a solid relationship with Him. These are the times that give legitimacy to the strategy and emphasis of this ministry.

Many of us are in the grieving process in this church. Over the past couple of years we have seen loss at many levels ranging from divorce to death. This year alone we have seen some extremely painful and tragic deaths amongst our family and friends.

And yes, even though we give praise to God in spite of the loss, we still have a healing process to go through. That’s why we don’t preach sermons to condemn people who are going through their healing process. They are fighting through all kinds of mental and emotional trauma. Sometimes they respond in sinful, ungodly ways in their grief. But that’s why we are allowing that unique anointing that was upon Jesus to come through us to minister to one another.

I want to show you something from Isaiah 61. Look at verse one and verse three. I want you to combine those two verses as if though it was one sentence. We’re not doing injustice to the Word of the Lord by doing this because of the grammatical structure of the sentences.

Isaiah 61: 1 and 3 says, “The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me, Because the LORD has anointed Me to console those who mourn (grieve) in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”

Jesus was anointed to console those in Zion who are still in their grieving process. Console means to remove the sense of loss. That’s more than just embracing someone to comfort them. This anointing removes the sense of the loss that causes the pain in our grief. That anointing is on this ministry for you and your family! That anointing is present to give you beauty (a crown of distinction); to give you the oil of joy; and to give you a garment of praise!

So even as my wife, my sons, and our family are going through this loss, just like most of you have experienced this year, we all can now receive the consoling, healing touch of Jesus in this moment. As we always tell you, we’re all on this journey together.

When we get together again this Sunday, let’s not make it a solemn occasion. Let’s make it a praise celebration because what was meant for evil, God is turning it for our good. We choose to be still and know that He is God!

Chris Green 

Back to Square One

Many years ago, while we were teen ministry pastors, the Lord gave us this little song to express the importance of going back to the basics:

We were face with deadlines; before the bills came due
We asked a miracle from God, but it all fell through.
I know what the Bible said, but still my dream is dead.
I confessed the positive verse; mere words that fell to earth?

Square One: Did I really hear God’s voice?
Square One: Understand what You say?
Square One: Have I totally counted the cost?
Square One: Dared to truly obey?

Satan does the evil deed to destroy and steal what’s ours,
So I thought this was a trial to show God’s overcoming power.
Is my motive selfishness? My inner goals simply pride?
I want to know from this day on, How to walk by God’s side.

Square One: Did I really hear God’s voice?
Square One: Understand what You say?
Square One: Have I totally counted the cost?
Square One: Dared to truly obey?

Last Sunday's teaching, Empowered by God, was all about being filled with the Holy Spirit. It was one of those Bible basics teachings. We’re going back to square one. Now that we have more people attending who have very little exposure to church and religious terminology, we find it very necessary to go back to that simple message about the love of God, the purpose for Jesus Christ dying on the cross, and the role that the Holy Spirit has in our lives today.

We are absolutely giddy with excitement about the journey we are about to take together. For the remainder of this year, we’re going to get back to Biblical basics like: What it means to be born again; who is the Holy Spirit; what are the gifts of the Spirit; what are the fruit of the Spirit; what it means to live by faith; and how to live with a passion for God that draws others to Him.

Over the past two years, we touched on these topics in brief segments within other subject matter. However, in this season we have become a group that is hungry for the Lord’s Presence, Word and Purpose. We can now move at a pace that will build up our new people and fine tune those who may have been on this journey for many years.

We recall those years when our sons were small little guys, daily exploring the world around them. It was a wonderful thing to see life through the eyes of our toddlers. Everything was new. Many things captured their attention that we had long since taken for granted, ignored or overlooked. That’s what it feels like to be the pastors of this church family.

It’s great to watch you guys fall in love with Jesus or discover a part of your purpose. It touches our hearts to watch God touch the heart of someone who never knew how much HE loves them. It blesses us to watch God drive fear, regrets and sadness out of your lives. There are many things that we “veterans” in the church have taken for granted and you guys have brought freshness into our gatherings. That’s because old things have passed away and all things have become new in you. You have reminded us of how awesome it is to be a child of God. In these ways, you have taken us back to square one.

God’s Not Mad at You; But Are You Mad at God?

We listen to Christian music as we work on our secular jobs and last week I was listening to one of Israel Houghton’s songs called Surprises. One of the repeating lines in that tune is the writer declaring about God, “You’re not mad at me…” What a wonderful thing it is to know that God isn’t angry with us, especially not in the ways that have been portrayed in movies or sermons. However, I had to pause for a moment as the Holy Spirit whispered this little thought, “That’s true that I’m not mad at My people, but many of My people are mad at Me.”

As a teenager I used to read about the end times and how there would be a great turning away from God. I often wondered how such a thing could ever take place. However, in recent years, we have watched it come to pass. As big name ministers have fallen and as Believers have gone through bankruptcy, foreclosures, divorce, accidents, incidents, natural disasters and the loss of loved ones, in their grieving process, many have turned their anger toward God.

We believe that part of the reason the turning away is happening so fast is because thousands were fed and groomed on faulty doctrine. They’ve been told that if they just name it and claim it, they will have whatever they speak. They’ve been taught that faith and prayer would move God’s hand without understanding the true meanings of faith and prayer.

They’ve been told that they are always above and never beneath. They’ve been told that they will live victoriously with nothing bad ever touching them. So when they hit the same trials and crisis that everyone else in the world has to face, many were so disillusioned that they came to a conclusion that God’s Word doesn’t work, and therefore they’ll just take care of matters on their own. If God won’t help and protect them as it was promised, then they’ll just fend for themselves.

Ever since we first accepted the call into the ministry (in 1991), we have observed many Believers taking this course in their life choices. For twenty years we have watched people cave in to this ploy of the enemy. Now we live in an era where so many Believers are angry with God that church attendance has dramatically dropped all across America and church doors are closing faster than churches are being planted.

There is so much hostility against God in the land that we now have a wide open door for the citizens of these United States to be brought under total control and domination of its government.

Please hear us carefully. This is not doom and gloom prophecy. What we are about to tell you is very real. Next year, the Health Care bill is going up before the Supreme Court. Its passage would mean nothing short of total government takeover. Those who have read the fine print, of the soon coming law, have discovered that the Health Law requires that everyone eventually receives a computer microchip under their skin on their hands or forehead, just as the Bible predicted thousands of years ago.

We are merely one Supreme Court decision away from the next stages of the One World Government dominance that the Bible foretold. We are in the same patterns that played out just before World War II with the agenda of Hitler and his regime. Those who do not learn from history are always destined to repeat it. While many Believers are going on with their lives, mad at God and rejecting His love, purpose and will, they are playing right into the hands of the enemy of their souls.

How are your pastors responding to all of this? What should you be doing? From this point on, we are going to be even more intentional in pressing after God as HE takes the Urban Life family to the next level of brokenness and grace.

We just experienced a powerful weekend in the Lord’s presence that led to chains of fear and doubt being removed. One person testified of being delivered from the fear of failure. We all witnessed one visitor committing her heart and life to Jesus. We witnessed the return of a brother who’s been away for a while. As a pastor, I was freed from the lie the enemy planted in my heart six years ago, that nobody wants to hear me preach or teach the Word of God. We believe that revival has come to Urban Life. We encourage you to come and jump into the waters that have been stirred!

If you know you’re harboring anger against God because of something He allowed or something He did NOT do for you; today is the day to humble yourself. His ways are higher than your ways and His thoughts are higher than your thoughts.

Many of us know the story of Job and how he eventually got so down about what God was allowing Him to go through that he began to curse the day he had ever been born. That’s when God stepped in and said, “Dude, (urban version) You don’t know me like that! Where were you when I formed the world? You don’t have any idea what you’re saying.” Growing up in the inner city I often heard people say to someone who had stepped out of line, “You betta check yourself!”

That’s kind of what the message is today. We all had better check ourselves and our attitudes about God. Yes, He’s full of love, mercy and grace, but when we walk around harboring anger and resentment towards Him, we run the risk of walking out from under His protection and right in to the trap of the enemy.

Turning away from God in your attitude can eventually lead to turning away from God in your heart. When you turn away from God in your heart, you have no idea how far into the gutter your heart will lead you. So let’s come together, family. Drop the hostility towards God and run to Him with a broken and contrite heart.

Some of us are in a battle in which we are resisting discouragement, disappointment and disillusionment with family members, friends or spiritual leaders, like pastors. We insist and encourage you to press your way through it. There's an old school song that says, "I have decided to follow Jesus... No turning back, no turning back. If none go with me, still I will follow... No turning back, No turning back."

Please make every effort to join with your sisters and brothers in our weekly gatherings. We only get to meet once a week, so let's make the most of the time that we have. We don't know how much longer we have in America before serious persecution breaks out against the church; or it could be an outbreak of revival. We believe that we can make the choice, but it depends on our personal pursuit of God in this hour.

Buying the Field

As we continue to pray for each of you, the Holy Spirit continues to open our understanding about the people to whom we’ve been sent to minister. Jesus said, in Matthew 13:44, “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.”

We see you guys as that treasure that was found in a field called Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Interestingly, the parable says that after the man found the treasure, he didn’t announce it. He didn’t tell everyone to come and see it. He hid it! We believe that he hid it because he did not have the right to take the treasure since he did not own the field. In order for him to legally take possession of the treasure, he had to buy the field. What do we learn from this part of the parable? We believe that this parable is telling us that whoever was the owner of the field, did not realize there was treasure within it.

For a long time we were disappointed that our congregation was small and the weekly attendance was sporadic and low, but now we realize something. The Lord was requiring us to hide our discovery. In a time when church leaders are advertising and trying all kinds of strategies to enlarge their ministries, the Lord told us to focus on the people who already attend our weekly gatherings. Instead of trying to “grow” a congregation numerically, the Lord instructed us to “grow” a church family relationally. This meant hiding our treasure.

In last week's Midweek Connection letter, we talked about investing our all in order to buy the field. We had no legal right, as outsiders, to come into Harrisburg and take its treasure. Even after we discovered the treasure, we still had no right to it. Perhaps, that’s why so many ministries have come and gone over the years. Perhaps they tried to take the treasure without buying the field. They came in and tried to raise offerings and solicited for donations. However, this Kingdom of Heaven principle says that you have to buy the field before you can access the treasure within it.

So, our first six years have been all about investing and buying the field, so that we could obtain the legal right to the treasure. The treasure is not a church member’s money or property. The treasure is the presence, power and purpose of God within each of you. We had no right to ask you to join this church, help us in our outreaches, connect with the vision, and advance in kingdom work together, without FIRST making an investment in your lives and in our relationships.

After discovering the treasure, the Lord made us hide the treasure. This ministry has remained hidden while we are legally taking possession of the field from an owner who has no knowledge or appreciation of what was is in his field.

We’re not boasting in ourselves and we’re not putting down any other pastors or churches when we make the following statement: Some of you have lived in this region all of your lives and you’ve never been taught about the treasure that is within you. You’ve never been told how precious you are to the Lord and how vital you are to the fulfillment of His will and purpose in your family and community. 

Many “owners” stand before their congregations and all they see is the potential for income through tithes and offerings.  Many “owners” of this field (Harrisburg) have failed to realize what treasure was in their midst all along. Those who have failed to recognize the treasure will lose their treasure. 

So right now, we're rejoicing over the treasure that we have found. We're hiding it and selling our all to take legal possession of the field.

Challenging the Prosperity Gospel

Matthew 13:44, “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.”

We see each person that attends our weekly session, as that treasure that was hidden in a field called Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. If you only knew how valuable you are to this community. You are priceless. And it’s all because of the treasure that is within you.

Paul wrote: “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels; that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed— always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.” - 2 Corinthians 4:7-10.

Urban Life isn’t a large ministry, but we have a prosperous work. The prosperity far exceeds what money could buy. The Word of God told Chris and Carol Green to sell all and buy THIS field because they had discovered the hidden treasure within it. That treasure was a select and special people who understood what it means to always carry in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in them. Even though you have been hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted and struck down, you have not been crushed, despaired, forsaken, or destroyed because you have a treasure within you.

Over the past 30 years, America has been saturated with the so-called prosperity gospel, where the emphasis was placed on quantifiable blessings through earthly assets and finances. That message caused many ministries and churches to grow into massive mega-congregations during the 1980's and 1990's. However, true prosperity is that which takes place in the soul of a person. Yet, the soul prosperity message doesn't seem to cause rapid growth. In fact, it seems to take months to hear it, and even longer to receive it.

Ever since we first moved to this region, we have been asked, 'Why in the world would one want to move to and start a ministry in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania?' Many people felt it was their duty to inform us that there’s nothing in Harrisburg. Our answer, today, is the same as it was when we first arrived. We came here because God told us to GO and work in this part of the vineyard.

After we arrived in this field, we found its hidden treasure. It wasn’t in the government, business, education, sports or entertainment. We have watched organizations and churches fight over memberships, grants, donations and contributions through fund raisers, activities and events.

Thankfully, we discovered that the treasure was in God’s people. The treasure was in YOU. The treasure was not your tithes and offerings. The treasure was not your property or special connections with rich people. The treasure was IN you. It’s CHRIST in you. It’s HIS LIFE in you. It’s HIS PURPOSE through you. It’s the rivers of living water flowing out of you. With this understanding, we can now change the emphasis of the prosperity gospel; that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.

So today, hopefully, you can understand why we consider ourselves to be two of the wealthiest people in Pennsylvania. We found treasure, hidden in a field, and it’s been worth it all to purchase that field. We have learned that you cannot measure one's prosperity by their income. You measure it by their investment. We found treasure!

Friday Mornings at the Pentagon

By JOSEPH L. GALLOWAY McClatchy Newspapers (May 23, 2007)
Over the last 12 months, 1,042 soldiers, Marines, sailors and Air Force personnel have given their lives in the terrible duty that is war. Thousands more have come home on stretchers, horribly wounded and facing months or years in military hospitals.

This week, I'm turning my space over to a good friend and former roommate, Army Lt. Col. Robert Bateman , who recently completed a year-long tour of duty in Iraq and is now back at the Pentagon.

Here is Lt. Col. Bateman's account of a little-known ceremony that  fills the halls of the Army corridor of the Pentagon with cheers, applause and many tears every Friday morning.  It first appeared on May 17 on the Weblog of media critic and pundit Eric Alterman at the Media Matters for America Website.

"It is 110 yards from the "E" ring to the "A" ring of the Pentagon. This section of the Pentagon is newly renovated; the floors shine, the hallway is broad, and the lighting is bright.

At this instant the entire length of the corridor is packed with officers, a few sergeants and some civilians, all crammed tightly three and four deep against the walls. There are thousands here.

 This hallway, more than any other, is the `Army' hallway. The G3 offices line one side, G2 the other, G8 is around the corner. All Army.
Moderate conversations flow in a low buzz. Friends who may not have seen each other for a few weeks, or a few years, spot each other, cross the way and renew.

Everyone shifts to ensure an open path remains down the center. The air conditioning system was not designed for this press of bodies in this area.

The temperature is rising already. Nobody cares.
 "10:36 hours: The clapping starts at the E-Ring.

That is the outermost of the five rings of the Pentagon and it is closest to the entrance to the building. This clapping is low, sustained, hearty.

It is applause with a deep emotion behind it as it moves forward in a wave down the length of the hallway.

 "A steady rolling wave of sound it is, moving at the pace of the soldier in the wheelchair who marks the forward edge with his presence.

He is the first. He is missing the greater part of one leg, and some of
his wounds are still suppurating. By his age I expect that he is a private, or perhaps a private first class.

"Captains, majors, lieutenant colonels and colonels meet his gaze and nod as they applaud, soldier to soldier. Three years ago when I described one of these events, those lining the hallways were somewhat different. The applause a little wilder, perhaps in private guilt for not having shared in the burden, yet.

 "Now almost everyone lining the hallway is, like the man in the wheelchair, also a combat veteran. This steadies the applause, but I think deepens the sentiment. We have all been there now. The soldier's chair is pushed by, I believe, a full colonel.

 "Behind him, and stretching the length from Rings E to A, come more of his peers, each private, corporal, or sergeant assisted as need be by a field grade officer.

 "11:00 hours: Twenty-four minutes of steady applause. My hands hurt, and I laugh to myself at how stupid that sounds in my own head. My hands hurt. Please! Shut up and clap.

For twenty-four minutes, soldier after soldier has come down this hallway - 20, 25, 30. Fifty-three legs come with them, and perhaps only 52 hands or arms, but down this hall came 30 solid hearts.

They pass down this corridor of officers and applause, and then meet for a private lunch, at which they are the guests of honor, hosted by the generals. Some are wheeled along. Some insist upon getting out of their chairs, to march as best they can with their chin held up, down this hallway, through this most unique audience. Some are catching handshakes and smiling like a politician at a Fourth of July parade.

More than a couple of them seem amazed and are smiling shyly.

 "There are families with them as well: the 18-year-old war-bride pushing her 19-year-old husband's wheelchair and not quite understanding why her husband is so affected by this, the boy she grew up with, now a man, who had never shed a tear is crying; the older immigrant Latino parents who have, perhaps more than their wounded mid-20s son, an appreciation for the emotion given on their son's behalf.

No man in that hallway, walking or clapping, is ashamed by the silent tears on more than a few cheeks. An Airborne Ranger wipes his eyes only to better see.

A couple of the officers in this crowd have themselves been a part of this parade in the past. These are our men, broken in body they may be, but they are our brothers, and we welcome them home.

This parade has gone on, every single Friday, all year long, for more than four years.

Tale of Two Lies

Many of us have thought to ourselves, “If God would take care of my needs I would be able to make a total commitment to Him.” Or we may have thought, “If my environment was better, I would be able to serve God with all my heart.”

I call this the Tale of Two Lies. I have to admit that at one time I believed those thoughts, too. But if you ever come to the place where you’re ready to stop playing games and kidding with yourself, you’ll have to admit that having all your needs met and having a perfect environment won’t change what’s in your heart.

The first man and woman were placed in a perfect environment and absolutely all of their needs were met. In spite of both of those factors, satan still was able to deceive the woman, and the man willfully disobeyed God.

Many years ago, when I was youth pastor, I presented the story of mankind’s fall in a modern setting. I asked everyone: “What if someone gave you a limitless credit card, you don’t have to pay the bill, they placed you in a gigantic shopping mall, gave you permission to shop in any store in the mall with the exception of one store; what would you do?” This was the situation for the first man and woman.

Yet, the woman listened to that slick-talking salesman who approached her about shopping in the one forbidden store named KOGAE (Knowledge of Good and Evil). He convinced her to ignore the fact that she had hundreds, if not thousands, of other stores in which to shop. He got her to focus on the one place that was forbidden.

He got her to question why God would not allow her in that store. After shopping in the store, she invited the man inside as well. So even though all their needs were met and even though they were in a perfect world, they still chose to go after what belonged to God.

So it is clear that the real battle is within us. Will you and I continue to listen to the enticement of the enemy? He’s still using the same old lines: “God is holding out on you. Why is He keeping you from this one thing? Could it be that if you partake of this one thing, you’ll discover that you don’t need Him? What good is all the things that God has already provided for you, if there is still something out there that you can’t have?”

These are the same lies that have devastated mankind for centuries. However, I'm praying that the Urban Life Church family has chosen to turn our hearts TO God. I'm praying that we will push aside the lies and choose to trust God because HE desires to do something great within us. I pray that we will desire to do something great for Him.

Here in America, over the past 30-40 years, people have been taught and trained to believe that the only purpose for believing in God or any higher power is so that whatever deity we pray to, will help us achieve our goals and dreams. So millions of Americans only seek a higher power to help them have personal success. Unfortunately, the same philosophy resides in many church assemblies where Christian believers seek God ONLY for what He can do for them. To update the statement of a famous U.S. president, “Ask not what God can do for you, but ask what you can do for God.”

That’s because GOD has already done the most awesome thing that can be done for anyone. He laid down His life for us. Worship artist Kelly Willard once wrote, “God so loved the world that He gave. He gave and gave. He still gives today. And the only thing He came to take away was our sin, so we could all begin to love this way.”

I want us to love God so much, that all we want to do is offer our lives to Him in exchange. That’s what our weekly session is about. This is not another one of those churches that will teach you the ten steps to get rich and famous and the five things you can do to move God’s hand in your favor. No, no, no! We will not teach principles of manipulation and witchcraft.

Our heart’s cry is, “Have thine own way Lord, Have thine own way. Thou art the potter, I am the clay. Mold me and make me, after thy will; while I am waiting, yielded and still.”

So we’re not seeking a higher power just to gain personal success. We’re not chasing our empty fantasies. Our souls follow hard after the Lord.

I see our weekly sessions as a church family that gathers to pray and seek the face of the Lord. No one has to entertain them and pump them up emotionally in order to get them to praise and worship the Lord. The cares of this life and the deceitfulness of riches will no longer choke the Word of God and prevent it from flowing in our hearts and lives. I see a people who will do something great for God. That’s because the people who know their God will do exploits.

In Perilous Times

In Mark 13: 9b, Jesus said, "…And there will be earthquakes in various places, and there will be famines and troubles. These are the beginnings of sorrows."

In Matthew 24:7b-8 it reads: "…And there will be famines, pestilences, and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of sorrows."

But Jesus also says, in Matthew 24:14, "And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in all the world as a witness to all the nations, and then the end will come."

One cannot help but think of these scriptural references about the end times because so much is happening. Paul, in his letter to Timothy, wrote: "But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come." (2 Timothy 3:1)

The word perilous had a multitude of meanings. They included such definitions as fierce, harsh and dangerous. However some of the definitions that caught our attention were ‘hard to bear’, ‘hard to take’ and ‘hard to approach’. We think those phrases truly describe this season. These are times that are really hard to bear, hard to take, and hard to approach. Yet, we’re in it now and we need the wisdom of God in order to live triumphantly in the midst of so much pain and loss.

Paul gave Timothy the way to handle perilous times and we just want to pass that reminder on to you today. He wrote: "But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them." (2 Timothy 3:14) 

Take courage, family. Don’t panic and don’t sink into despair.

Now is the time to really go for it in God. Just continue in what you have already learned.

When Peter was coming to the end of his life, he wrote: "But the end of all things is at hand; therefore be serious and watchful in your prayers. And above all things have fervent love for one another, for ‘love will cover a multitude of sins.’ Be hospitable to one another without grumbling. As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. If anyone speaks, let him speak as the oracles of God. If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belong the glory and the dominion forever and ever." (1 Peter 4: 7-11)

And that’s what we’re going to do family:
· Be sober and watchful in prayer
· Have fervent love for one another
· Be hospitable (without grumbling)
· Minister our gifts to one another

As we’ve told you many times before, this is not the Chris and Carol show. Nothing would bring us greater joy than to see this Body of Believers moving in maturity and power, where our gifts are going forth, backed up by lives of integrity and Godly character.

Yes, we are in perilous times, but this is not the time to give up. This is the time to step into your purpose and calling. Remember, we’re not building a great ministry that does special things for people. We’re building special people who will do great things for God.

Don’t shrink back because you feel that you’re not worthy, able or ready. Already, most of you can see things about the ministry that need to improve or can be done more efficiently. Well, you can’t wait for Chris and Carol to fix it, or make it better. The reason you see the areas that need to improve could be because YOU are the person who is supposed to step up and minister your gift.

Many, many people sit back and complain about all the things that need to change or improve in their church, yet they never offer their gifts to bring about that change. We feel that they don’t have the right to criticize or complain if they don’t do something about it.

Of course we realize that some of you are coming from places where you may have offered your gift, but it was thwarted. In this season at Urban Life, we’re presenting the opportunity for you to help build people. We're calling you forth to present your gifts of help, hospitality, administration, creativity and more. It’s time to minister your gifts to one another. Some have sat under our teaching for more than a year and now it’s time to move beyond sitting and receiving, to standing and giving. Are you ready family?

Balancing the Equation

While sharing a meal at Cracker Barrel Monday night, we were talking about what is happening in Urban Life. We have recently learned that there are more people who are planning to visit, and that many people are faithfully listening to the radio broadcast.

Carol, who was born and raised in Harrisburg, expressed why it is so important that we have been teaching about the Lord’s commitment to us. She disclosed,

“When I was in church, we were always being told how much we are supposed to be committed to the church and the pastor, but for many people this is the first time they’ve heard about the Lord’s commitment to His people. That’s why we must keep presenting this message.”  Then she reminded me that that’s how I won her heart.

Carol’s words resounded inside of me. Over thirty years ago, I set out to prove to a girl from Harrisburg, PA that I would never leave her. I set out to prove that when I asked her to marry me, it was for keeps.

I didn’t realize it back then, but God was giving me the life-message I would someday preach and teach. What I had done to win one woman from Harrisburg, I would someday preach and teach to an entire community. That message: God meant it when He said, “I will never leave you or forsake you.”

Many Christians become very uncomfortable with this type of message because they’ve been heavy laden with preaching regarding holy and righteous living. Some may think that we are putting too much emphasis on love and grace, so I’ll explain it like this:

If you stack a scale with bricks on one side and feathers on the other side, it will not be balanced. So for now, we have to stack, load after load of “grace and love” bricks to get the scale in balance. That’s all we’re doing. We’re bringing balance to the equation.

One of the new Urban Life attendees told us recently, “You guys just give us the Word, but you don’t make us receive it. You just allow the Holy Spirit to do the work in us.”

And that was the ultimate compliment from our point of view. We don’t want to do anything to force or coerce anyone to do anything in our gatherings. If you lift your hands in praise and worship, it will be because you are personally responding to the Spirit of God; not because I screamed over the microphone, “Somebody better lift your hands and act like you love Jesus!” That’s not leading people in praise and worship. That’s manipulation to get a reaction from the crowd.

That’s why we haven’t even set aside a specific moment to receive an offering. We just leave the offering plate available in one spot so that you can give as the Lord leads you with no manipulation from anyone. Each person can simply respond to God and know that He is pleased with their obedience.

This is going to become even more important as the days become even more difficult in this nation. Some of you have grown discouraged because it seems like your prayers are not being answered. You have been praying for family and friends, but the situations have only become worse. Chris and Carol have prayed for people and they lived. We have prayed for some and they died. We have been taught to seek the Lord's wisdom and not just make a request. You may need to begin to seek the Lord for wisdom in this hour.

Hearts and Homes, Strong in the Lord

We never solicit members and we never ask for money, yet God is moving in our weekly sessions.

Since we’ve been in the Pennsylvania United Church Center, not only have we seen growth, but we have seen growth in a particular way. God is touching the lives of families. They are coming as they hear about the ministry or as they discover it on the internet.

As people come into this ministry, some of them are seeking freedom from religious bondage or deliverance from the carnal whims of church leaders who are in pursuit of fame and fortune. We want to assure them that we refuse to establish a ministry where the leaders become celebrities. We refuse to raise a church congregation that possesses a mind set of always wondering if they are ‘saved’ or not. We will not create an atmosphere where people can never know if they are pleasing God, and never be sure if whether their mistakes and decisions have cost them their salvation.

For some of people, these are non-issues in their lives, but for others, these are major obstacles and walls.  Many people seem to have been exposed to so much works-based teaching, that what we are teaching is like fresh air and new life. Perhaps you are transitioning from a church environment where there was only a focus on the laws of God.

Many pastors turn people away from grace and preach another gospel. Galatians 3:1-3 reads: "You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by the works of the law, or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh?"

We refuse to become pastors who use people’s uncertainty about their standing in God to manipulate them into church attendance and giving money; causing them to try to maintain their salvation and righteousness by giving their time, talent and treasure into the church.

We desire to establish a ministry that is made up of hearts and homes that are strong in the Lord.  So, the past few weeks we have been teaching about the commitment the Lord has made to His people. We've been talking about the PACT the Lord has made with us. The reason we have turned the focus away from our human efforts to obtain or maintain righteousness, is because we have come to this reality: As we behold the Lord and receive His love and commitment to us, we are empowered to commit our lives to Him and our families.

So, we might become labeled as one of those ‘love and grace’ churches who are offering excuses for sinful and immature Christian behavior. But that’s not the reason why we minister to people the way we do.

The original call on us was to minister to God’s people from the perspective of spiritual parents. Twenty years ago the prophetic word over us was that we were called to be a father and mother in ministry. Since that day, the Lord has given us oversight over teenagers, young adults, pre-marital couples, small groups, and now, a small congregation. The calling has remained the same even though the responsibilities have increased.

Ephesians 6:4 (NIV) states: "Fathers do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

Even as natural parents, we knew that we could not raise healthy sons in an atmosphere of destructive criticism, condemnation, unrealistic expectations, sarcasm, intimidation and fear. That will totally exasperate a child and the same scripture applies when leading a church family.

That’s the reason why one of the requirements for choosing overseers in the church was to observe how that candidate raised their own children. It was because he or she would be that same type of spiritual parent and leader in the church. Harsh parents would most likely become harsh pastors. Judgmental parents would become judgmental pastors. Insensitive parents would become insensitive pastors. Firm and loving parents would most likely be firm and loving pastors.

1 Corinthians 4: 15-16 (NKJV) reads: "For though you might have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet you do not have many fathers; for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel."

There is a vast difference between being an instructional pastor and a parental pastor. In order to build a healthy and strong church family, we are convinced that there must be an atmosphere of encouragement, tenderness, patience, listening, affection and love. Even when correction and reproof is necessary, it still comes forth from this foundation of grace.

In the Process of God

Often we set forth our prayer request before the Lord, but instead of responding to the request like we thought He would, God does it in a completely different way. You may need a job, higher income, or some other blessing, but instead, the Lord directs your pastors to engage in a teaching series about marriage and family. Why would God put you in such a position?

Well, Psalm 133 says, "Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity.... For there the LORD commanded the blessing—  Life forevermore."

Could it be that the Lord desires to bring your family into unity first, so that He can command the blessing upon it? He has been sending the answer to your prayer, but the answer comes according to God's designed plan. That's why He will send you to a ministry that's talking about the healing of hearts and homes and not about financial breakthrough. Yes, He's answering your prayer. It's just that the answer doesn't look like your desired solution until you begin to accept the WAYS of God.

We see it like this. If you ask the Lord for an apple, He'll give you an apple seed. Jesus Christ said the Kingdom of God is like a mustard seed. God will place something very small and seemingly insignificant into our hands, but we have to see its ultimate potential in spite of its small size. That's how God's answers come to us. You can expect that type of answer when you pray and ask the Lord for something. Most times He will respond with a seed that has the answer within it.

Some of us have been praying for healing in our families, but instead of getting an instant manifestation of heart changes in our spouse or children, God direct us to a ministry where His Word is going forth like seed.

An apple farmer doesn't go out and buy apples. He plants apple seeds to produce an orchard. That's what we're trying to say to you today. For a while, the Lord may have given you apples, but as you mature, HE starts giving you seeds so that you can begin to grow an orchard. The harvest you are looking for is in the form of seed right now. But if you keep allowing the Word to be seeded into your life, you will start to see your field produce.

The issue becomes this: What kind of soil is that seed going into? If the soil of your heart is hard or filled with debris, the answer to your prayer won't have an opportunity to start growing.  If you allow the cares of this life and the deceitfulness of riches to grow in your heart, like thorns, they will actually kill the answers that were planted.  Other times we may have an enthusiastic response to the seed, but it turns out that we really only received it on a very shallow, emotional level. When the answer gets tested and opposed, we get offended by that very answer. Sometimes we even get offended by the sower (teacher) of that Word.

We share this with you so that you don't allow discouragement to tell you that it's pointless to attend church gatherings and listen to sermons that seem to have nothing to do with what you are facing.

Remember, you're going through a process. Orchards, fields and vines don't reach maturity and bear fruit overnight, but they do grow.  It takes a little while to renew your mind and change. It took many years to develop your current pattern of thinking and behavior. Give yourself time to grow and develop into the new direction God has for your life.

Again we're going to be a little controversial as we make this point about your process in God. John 15: 1-2 (NKJV) reads: “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit."

Many preachers and teachers quote this scripture in such a way that portrays God as an intolerant being who has no compassion for His people's growth process. We have been taught that anyone who does not bear fruit is cut off.

In our study of this scripture, we discovered that the meaning of the Greek term for takes away has four definitions. Three of the four definitions mean 'to lift up' and one of those three means to lift up in order to carry. Only the fourth definition means to remove, and even that removal is talking about what is removed FROM the branch, NOT the removal OF the branch itself.

These four definitions describe the actual practice of what takes place when a vinedresser has nonproductive or under productive branches on their vines. The more accurate meaning would be: Any branch that is not producing fruit, the vinedresser lifts it from its current position on the trellis and trains it to grow in a different position, where it can become fruitful.

One of the reasons this is done is so that branches that are not receiving enough sunlight can be moved to spots where they are able to receive it. There is also a season of removing shoots, leaves and unproductive sections of the branch to help it to become fruitful.

Many preachers and teachers have been misinterpreting the removal aspect and not understood the entire vine dressing process. Historically, vine dressers in the time of Christ, spent a great deal of time lifting and moving branches on the trellis. They did not instantly cut off unfruitful branches. They would give new and young vines a season or two, to become productive.

For some of you, that's why God is moving you to a different church assembly. You had become unfruitful in your last place, so HE is shifting you. He's simply moving you to a different position on the trellis where you can receive the radiant light of His Word; from which you can finally become fruitful. He didn't cut you off the vine because HE knew you were in a place where you were not able to bear fruit. In this season of your life, HE is lifting you, just like a vinedresser.

Now that you are in a different position and environment, don’t get discouraged and don't give up.  Yes, it is uncomfortable and nothing is like what you are accustomed to, but you are in the process of God. He is committed to seeing you through the process. He is committed to rebuilding, restoring and renewing your heart and home.

Promise of Commitment

Over thirty years ago, we made an agreement that has carried and sustained our marriage relationship.

Yes, like thousands of couples, we stood before a pastor, in a church, in front of family and friends, and recited the wedding vows. We nervously smiled in anticipation of the wedding night and a lifetime of marital bliss. Finally, we were going to be living together, spending uninterrupted time, no longer facing the agonizing late night departures and telephone good-byes. We were going to finally be able to pool our money, plan a future and begin our pursuit of the American dream.

However, six months later, we couldn’t even have a decent conversation without strained atmosphere. We discovered that we didn’t have the same alphabet. We didn’t have the same definition of terms. Our body language was even misinterpreted. So, six months after pledging our lives and hearts in a wedding ceremony, we sat down together and made a PACT.

Today, we are realizing how important that agreement really was and we are sharing with our small congregation and our online subscribers, what we have discovered in our journey.

We found that our PACT was Biblically based. It was deeply rooted in sound doctrine.  The PACT was summed up in Ephesians 5:31-33: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Today, in America, many men are strongly opposed to this command to love their wives the way Christ loves the church. Many women almost consider words like submit and respect to be profanity. In the face of a society that pushes individuality and personal success, we are under divine mandate to present God’s point of view about marriage. We guess we are still some of those 'old school' folks who believe that the foundation of the community is the family, and the foundation of the family is the marriage relationship between a man and woman.

We didn't say that you don't have a family if you don't have a mom or dad present in the home. We're just stating what GOD had in mind when HE started everything in the beginning. Certainly God has graced many families to thrive as the remaining spouse pressed forward for the sake of the children. But in this discussion, we are dealing with the intended foundation of the family: marriage.

While many are tweaking and adjusting the terms of marriage to fit their own preferences and lifestyles, we feel that we must lovingly and firmly present the truth of God’s Word.

If a marriage fails, you don’t discard the fundamental institution of marriage, no more than one would refuse to ever drive a car again because it had a flat tire, or if the battery dies. You repair what went wrong and you keep driving. If the car runs out of gas, you don’t give up on the car. You do whatever you have to do in order to get some more fuel into it again. You wouldn’t say “I don’t believe in automobiles because they break down and you have to keep refueling them.”

However, this society declares that since so many marriages have failed, we no longer need the institution of marriage or if you decide to get married, you don’t have to apply the principles of God’s Word in the relationship. Many couples approach marriage like a very loose boyfriend-girlfriend connection. At the first sign of trouble, they have already created all kinds of escape routes.

One of our very good friends, Pastor Joe Green of Antioch Assembly here in Harrisburg, PA, shared that he discovered that one of the Hebrew word-pictures for marriage is that of a couple being locked and barred inside of a house with no way to escape. If there is a fire, they have to work together to put out the fire, not try to find a way to get out of the house. As radical as that may sound, that’s how marriage works. It’s not about self preservation. It’s about doing whatever it takes for US to make it; not just for ME to make it. BOTH people must make the promise of commitment to make it work.

Now of course this e-newsletter is being read by many who have already experienced the pain of separation and divorce. What can you take away from this conversation?

We believe that you still have to embrace God’s Word on the subject of marriage. You must resist the temptation to adopt worldly philosophy to your outlook on marriage. You must resist the temptation to apply personal interpretation of the Word of God by changing the meaning of the scripture to fit your feelings.

If you should choose to enter into the covenant bonds of marriage again, you cannot apply self preservation principles. Of course, that is going to be very tough because of what you’ve gone through, but unless you fully embrace God’s Word about marriage, you will inevitably end up in divorce again. It will happen for a different reason than before, but it will still be the same results as before.

As high as the divorce rate is for couples, it's even higher for people who are on their second marriage. Why? We believe it's because they still try to make it work without Biblically rooted principles. So how do you reach a place of healing and restoration so that you can open your heart and fulfill the promise of commitment in a marriage?

Last Sunday we took on that challenge as we introduced the commitment portion of the PACT, but we began by looking at the commitment the Lord has made to us. There is nothing like coming face to face with the unconditional love of God. In Romans 5:8 the Bible declares, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

We explained the agonizing decision that Jesus made in the garden of Gethsemane, to become sin for us and to be separated from the Father on our behalf. He became the ransom that paid for the hostage’s release. Please realize that before we can ever commit to another human being at such a deep level, we must first commit ourselves to the Lord. When we really understand what HE did for us, it makes us love Him that much more. It produces a supernatural level of loyalty to Him.

We ministered a very special song to the church family that expresses this kind of love for God. The lyrics are: I will continue with Jesus in the garden of decision. Continue with Him when I’m running endless miles. Continue with Jesus through the times of tribulation. Continue with Him through this trial. Continue with Him through it all.

We have discovered that the commitment within the PACT does not begin with Chris’ commitment to Carol or Carol’s commitment to Chris. It begins with Chris and Carol’s commitment to God. That commitment comes from a revelation of and response to God's love for us.

One of the failures in Christian marriage is due to two human beings trying to commit to one another without the healing and restoration that comes by continually committing their lives to God through their personal relationship with Jesus Christ. They must constantly remind themselves of what the Lord has really done on their behalf. Without this reminder, one person or the other will begin to take the marriage relationship for granted.

When we acknowledge, daily, what God has done for us, it keeps our hearts open, grateful, humble and capable of loving others (our spouse in particular) the way God loves us. That’s what gives us the ability to extend mercy and unconditional love and respect to one another.

A Climate Change in Marriage

We’re going through some extremely cold days and nights here on the east coast and the pattern has been pretty bizarre throughout the world. From floods in Australia to frost in Florida, this has been a very strange winter. Some feel that we may be on the verge of a global climate change.

The weather has been sort of like our family relationships. With all the strange outbreaks and abnormal temperatures, the most difficult aspect is the feeling that there’s nothing we can do about it accept wait it out and see what happens tomorrow.

Thankfully we can turn to the Word of God when we experience strange weather patterns in our marriage. Sudden and unexpected storms can hit a marriage in many forms. Financial setbacks, in-laws, parental challenges, and work schedules can provide a constant stream of thunderstorms and tornadoes, but the most devastating damage is often done by the overall climate change in our relationships.

Climate changes are the result of a sustained atmospheric change. The atmosphere in our home is affected by the atmosphere in our hearts. When it becomes cold, cynical, critical, negative and fearful inside our hearts, it becomes cold, cynical, critical, negative and fearful  in our home. After a while, it’s cold for so long that it’s not just a season of winter, but it becomes a cold climate all year long, with only brief periods of sunshine or warmth.

We think back over the past thirty years of our marriage and we are so thankful that the Lord has helped us to establish a warm and gentle climate that occasionally experiences seasons of storms and cold, instead of a cold and stormy climate that only sees sunshine for a couple days or weeks per year.

The secret to establishing a loving climate was to yield our hearts individually to God the Father; by constantly surrendering our wills to the Holy Spirit.

Chris: As a husband, I had to see my role in Carol’s life as one whom God had sent to be an extension of His healing to her, through me. 
Carol: As a wife, I had to see my role in Chris’ life as one whom God had sent to be an extension of His healing to him, through me.

Yes, God put us in one another’s life and showed us how to resist the temptation to only focus on what the other person should be doing for me. This kind of focus is what causes a cold, cynical, critical, negative and fearful marriage. God reset our mindset to serving, helping and ministering to one another.

The world attempts to overcome these marital challenges by promoting a 50-50 marriage arrangement. We don’t believe that 50-50 works in marriage. First of all, you cannot determine if your spouse has met you half way. Your spouse may feel like they are giving their all to the marriage, but you might determine their effort as being mediocre at best.

Secondly, the 50-50 arrangement makes you focus on what your spouse is NOT doing. It makes you focus on their weaknesses and faults. It makes you view the relationship as one in which you are doing most of the work.

Thirdly, we believe that marriage isn’t 50-50 because it’s actually: give whatever you have, and receive whatever your spouse has to offer. You must learn to appreciate where they are and what they have to offer without trying to determine if what they have, or what they are doing meets your personal standards. Sometimes marriage is 90-10, 100-0, 75-25, 60-40, or even 30-30 because neither of you can do enough to make things right.

Our point is that a Godly marriage is based upon what Jesus said in Matthew 5:48 “Be ye perfect as your father in heaven is perfect.” When Jesus made this statement it was spoken in the context of Matthew 5: 44: “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which spitefully use you, and persecute you.” 

In that understanding He was telling His followers to love people without reservation, to love without qualification, to love unconditionally. So be 'perfect like your Father in heaven is perfect' was not talking about flawless living. He was telling us to love people the same way God loves people, which is perfectly. It’s about perfect love to imperfect people.

We’re certainly not referring to your spouse as your enemy, but the principal of love is the same. That’s why perfect love cast out fear. If you love your spouse without holding anything back, without waiting for them to earn it, and without setting up conditions in your mind that they must meet, then the Word of God promises that their fears will be driven out. You will become an extension of God's healing hand to their heart.

We discovered that a lot of our negative reactions to one another were rooted in fear, but the perfect love of God, being poured out to one another, through each of us, literally drove out our fears. It drove out the fear that he will leave me. It drove out the fear that she will find someone else. It drove out the fear of marriage failure.

There is nothing like waking up in the morning and asking the Lord, How can I minister Your love to my spouse today? We are living witnesses that this is not a fantasy. This has become our reality. Even when we got way off track and missed one another by miles in our communication, because our climate was one of warmth, love, unconditional acceptance, and total commitment to what is best for the other person, the cold days and stormy nights could not and did not last long. We were able to weather tornadoes, floods and earthquakes.

"Marriage is about mercy."

Determine, now that you want that kind of relationship, too. If whether you are married, divorced, separated, or single and not even looking, begin to change the atmosphere in your heart. Get away from being cold, cynical, critical, negative and fearful. Whatever you sustain, that atmosphere, over time, will become the CLIMATE of your HEART. The climate in your heart will change the ATMOSPHERE of your HOME. If you sustain that atmosphere in your home, it will become the CLIMATE of your HOME.

Resist the negative thoughts and past experiences that are telling you that this is just a bunch of fairy tale rhetoric. The resistance goes something like this, “That may have worked for Chris and Carol and a few other people, but I live in the urban world, in the real world. There are no men or women like that here.” So we’re declaring to you, that’s the lie from satan.

In John 10:10 Jesus declared, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” This is abundant life for marriage in the urban community.

By no means are we trying to promote ourselves and boast about our relationship. We feel like the couples that you may see on one of those TV infomercials, who are trying to convince you to try some special product that worked for them.

Well, our product is the Word of God, brought to you by the Spirit of God, all under the orchestration and executive plan of Father God. Just try it! It will change the climate of your marriage, too!

Promise of Accountability

We consider it an honor when each of you takes a moment out of your busy schedule to read these blogs. Sometimes it feels like we're taking a great risk to address the sensitive and controversial issues that we tackle.

Currently, we are dealing with the foundation of the family, which is marriage. The reason it is so difficult to talk about it is because most of our audience consist of people from the urban community who have been wounded in some way or another due to the breakdown in their marriage or their family. Most have grown up without a father, mother, or in a few cases, without both.

We have discerned that when we talk about this subject, we must be sensitive and gentle because there are a lot of sore spots when touching this area in the urban community. It would be very easy for some to come away from our sessions struggling with thoughts of condemnation or offense, but the Lord has helped us to teach and present the loving view of our heavenly Father.

This past Sunday, we stepped into the first aspect of the PACT. As you may recall our pact was this: No matter how you say what you say to me, I will choose to believe that you said it because you love me. I will choose to believe that you said it because you have my best interest in your heart. Today we call it the Promise of Accountability, Commitment and Trust (P.A.C.T.).

The first thing we established in our PACT was THE PROMISE OF ACCOUNTABILITY. In Sunday's teaching we walked through a passage of scripture that has left many frustrated because of the inability to live out their understanding of the Word of God.

This time we read through Ephesians 5: 22-23 which says, "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body." We can almost feel the cold chill sweeping over many of you, but hold on! This is not going to be the typical law enforcement approach to this scripture.

We explained the meanings of these words in terms that people can relate to today. Husbands are instructed to take the lead and set the example for their home as they follow the lead of Christ, who has set the example for the church.

All the controversy and fuss about words like submit and subject can be boiled down to this basic explanation. This scripture means that wives are to follow their husband's lead. It's that simple. To lead means to be the first to do something. Husbands are called to be the first to sacrifice, the first to give, the first to pray, the first to (fill in the blank). So when the husband leads out in sacrificing, giving, or praying, the wife is called to follow him.

Many women have said they wanted a real man of God, but when they discover that a real man of God says, "Let's turn off the TV so we can talk and pray about our finances." then she discovers how difficult it is to really follow his lead. He always seems to want to do these kind of things at inconvenient times. Now comes that keyword: submitting to his leadership. If the husband is following the leading of the Spirit of God, she is called to follow and not resist it.

Of course, this automatically brings up the issue of what are husbands to do when their wives do not follow their lead. Well, husbands are instructed to love their wives the way Christ loves the church; to wash her with the water of the word. There are reasons why she is unwilling to follow her husband's lead and example. Those reasons range from fear to rebellion. However, the husband has the high calling of God on his life to minister to his wife.

The other side of the coin is: What does a wife do if her husband is not setting an example and following Christ? Well, Peter dealt with that issue and instructed that when this happens, wives are to follow the example of Christ, as well.

According to 1 Peter 3:1-4, a wife may be able to win her husband without words or her outward beauty. Peter wrote, "...rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God."

A woman can grow and mature to a place where she has a gentle, quiet spirit that speaks volumes. Interestingly, Peter told the women that they should do what the women of past times did which was to 1.) trust God, and 2.) do not be afraid of the threats of fear.

You see, when a husband is not following the Lord, fear of the consequences of his actions can overwhelm a wife. Her fear is often rooted in past experiences with men. This fear can cause her to say and do things she shouldn't, which can be like throwing a lit match into a bucket of gasoline. Many teachers have put emphasis on the wife having a gentle and quiet spirit, but failed to tell her how to do it.

Gentle and quiet is not weakness. It is the powerful expression of meekness. Meekness is having the strength to control yourself. Anybody can blow up and let everybody around them know that they got strength, skills, talent and smarts. But blowing up is no sign of being a strong person. However, if she trust God and receives His perfect love which cast out her fear, no matter what her husband does, she won't be used as an instrument in the hands of the evil one.

Today, many women in the urban community are filling their hearts and minds with fear by watching constant streams of men-bashing movies, dramatic presentations and talk shows. The fear factor is sky rocketing, causing millions of women to take matters into their own hands.  Many are even turning to lesbian relationships for comfort and security.

If a Godly wife obeys the Word of the Lord, there is no guarantee that her husband  won't choose to leave her. Peter's instructions were not meant to be used like words of witchcraft to cast a spell on a man to keep him from leaving his wife. With every Word of God, people have choice. He may choose to leave because he does not want to follow Christ. Yet, she cannot allow the fear and threat of him leaving to covert her into an agent of manipulation, intimidation and domination. There are consequences for the husband's decision and one of them is that his prayers will be hindered. God won't hear and answer his prayers until he gets things right with his wife.

That's why we encourage couples to really consider this part of the PACT: I promise to keep myself in the position where I will be answerable, explainable and accountable to you.

So you see, the Bible is still very relevant in it's answers for dealing with the powerful conflicts within the marriage relationship. O' how we wish we could expound more on what we talked about last Sunday, but you can check it out for yourself at https://vimeo.com/19759321 (Part 1) - https://vimeo.com/19758165 (Part 2)

Restoring Love and Respect

Ephesians 5: 33 reads: Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

This past Sunday, we began our efforts to rebuild, renew and restore a Godly understanding of, and a new appreciation for marriage in the urban community by playing a video clip from a powerful movie called “You Saved Me.” In this movie, several couples candidly talk about their marriage and how God used their spouse to save their lives.

In the first video clip, the husband said that his wife saved him from mediocrity. The wife said her husband saved her from rejection. After the video clip, we presented our own live version of ‘You Saved Me’.

Chris: My wife saved me from depression and pessimism.
Carol: My husband saved me from insecurity and procrastination.

We disclosed how we made a PACT six months into our marriage because we were struggling to communicate and connect with one another. Back then, we did not realize that it was the most important decision we would ever make. Our PACT was simply this: No matter HOW you say what you say to me, I will CHOOSE to believe that you said it because you love me. I will choose to believe that you said it because you have my best interest in your heart. Little did we know that this simple PACT would carry us for the next thirty years. Today, as we teach the principles of the agreement we made with one another, we call it the Promise of Accountability, Commitment and Trust (P.A.C.T.).

We realize that a lot of what we are sharing is going to sound out of date, irrelevant and even sexist according to the standards and beliefs of the 21st century world. Most of the people we are talking to each week are either divorced, separated, presently having marital trouble, or single. This is NOT a weekly session to bring condemnation due to the life status you may be in right now. However, as promised, we are going to “Keep It Real” with transparency and truth in love.

We are not saying that everyone MUST be married. We are not saying that everyone SHOULD be married. Yet, we are saying that everyone MUST and SHOULD have a healthy view and understanding of marriage.

You are not going to get that healthy view from the world. It won't come from the new Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN), Essence Magazine, Black Entertainment Network (BET) or Lifetime Television. You won't get it from MTV or VH1.

A healthy view of marriage is not in the agenda of Planned Parenthood or the National Organization for Women. You won't get it from your friends who are content with the urban dictionary definition of ghetto love:  that kinda luv where...yall cut each others throat that nite at the club wit your pocket knives for lookin at otha people ...then the next morning she hanging over his shoulders bragging about how in love they are...

We are not marriage counselors and we are not professional therapists. All we know is that we have followed the principles of the Word of God in our relationship and we are still happy together after 30 years. We have weathered job losses, two foreclosures, emergency (near-death) hospital crisis moments, infidelity temptation, full time ministry overload, and the on-going challenge of parenting. We have clung to one another in tragedies and laughed together in triumphs. We are not flawless and we still have our emotional and economic issues in life, but our relationship and our family remain intact.

We are not boasting in ourselves, but we are boasting about the validity and assurance of God’s Word. There are many others in this community and across the nation, who will testify of this truth and reality. For the thousands of people who may question our beliefs and our lifestyle, they simply cannot argue with our results.

It all comes down to this: Husband, love your wife. Wife, respect your husband. We have found that the requirement for each of us, cuts to the very core of the heart. It’s very easy for a man to withhold love and it’s very easy for a woman to refuse respect. These responses are due to the fallen nature within us to preserve ourselves in the face of disappointment, doubt, division or discouragement.

We have discovered that the goal in marriage and family is Christ-likeness for a husband and Christ-likeness for a wife. That’s what it takes in order for a man to love his wife the way Christ loves the church. That’s what it takes for a woman to submit to and respect her husband. If we try to approach marriage and relationships with the standards of the world, like ME FIRST, PRENUPTUAL AGREEMENTS, MAKING SURE I WON’T BE LEFT IN THE COLD, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO FOR ME? and WHAT DO I GET OUT OF THIS?, then we will continue to see high divorce rates or people not getting married at all and just choosing to live together.

There is a lot of hurt and pain that’s deeply rooted in our hearts and it’s very difficult to sort it all out when dealing with our spouse or children. Many of our responses are merely fear induced reactions to prevent additional injuries. This understanding went a long way in helping us deal with one another in our moments of crisis, conflict and confrontation.

That’s why, as we continue in this series of lessons about the PACT, we will keep connecting you to the promises of Isaiah 61: verses 1 and 4 - “The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me, Because the LORD has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives, And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;…. 4 And they shall rebuild the old ruins, They shall raise up the former desolations, And they shall repair the ruined cities, The desolations of many generations.”

Our prayer is that as we address the issues of marriage and family, you will be able to more accurately apply the true meaning of Isaiah 61 in very practical ways to your own heart and home.