Hearts and Homes, Strong in the Lord

We never solicit members and we never ask for money, yet God is moving in our weekly sessions.

Since we’ve been in the Pennsylvania United Church Center, not only have we seen growth, but we have seen growth in a particular way. God is touching the lives of families. They are coming as they hear about the ministry or as they discover it on the internet.

As people come into this ministry, some of them are seeking freedom from religious bondage or deliverance from the carnal whims of church leaders who are in pursuit of fame and fortune. We want to assure them that we refuse to establish a ministry where the leaders become celebrities. We refuse to raise a church congregation that possesses a mind set of always wondering if they are ‘saved’ or not. We will not create an atmosphere where people can never know if they are pleasing God, and never be sure if whether their mistakes and decisions have cost them their salvation.

For some of people, these are non-issues in their lives, but for others, these are major obstacles and walls.  Many people seem to have been exposed to so much works-based teaching, that what we are teaching is like fresh air and new life. Perhaps you are transitioning from a church environment where there was only a focus on the laws of God.

Many pastors turn people away from grace and preach another gospel. Galatians 3:1-3 reads: "You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by the works of the law, or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh?"

We refuse to become pastors who use people’s uncertainty about their standing in God to manipulate them into church attendance and giving money; causing them to try to maintain their salvation and righteousness by giving their time, talent and treasure into the church.

We desire to establish a ministry that is made up of hearts and homes that are strong in the Lord.  So, the past few weeks we have been teaching about the commitment the Lord has made to His people. We've been talking about the PACT the Lord has made with us. The reason we have turned the focus away from our human efforts to obtain or maintain righteousness, is because we have come to this reality: As we behold the Lord and receive His love and commitment to us, we are empowered to commit our lives to Him and our families.

So, we might become labeled as one of those ‘love and grace’ churches who are offering excuses for sinful and immature Christian behavior. But that’s not the reason why we minister to people the way we do.

The original call on us was to minister to God’s people from the perspective of spiritual parents. Twenty years ago the prophetic word over us was that we were called to be a father and mother in ministry. Since that day, the Lord has given us oversight over teenagers, young adults, pre-marital couples, small groups, and now, a small congregation. The calling has remained the same even though the responsibilities have increased.

Ephesians 6:4 (NIV) states: "Fathers do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

Even as natural parents, we knew that we could not raise healthy sons in an atmosphere of destructive criticism, condemnation, unrealistic expectations, sarcasm, intimidation and fear. That will totally exasperate a child and the same scripture applies when leading a church family.

That’s the reason why one of the requirements for choosing overseers in the church was to observe how that candidate raised their own children. It was because he or she would be that same type of spiritual parent and leader in the church. Harsh parents would most likely become harsh pastors. Judgmental parents would become judgmental pastors. Insensitive parents would become insensitive pastors. Firm and loving parents would most likely be firm and loving pastors.

1 Corinthians 4: 15-16 (NKJV) reads: "For though you might have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet you do not have many fathers; for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel."

There is a vast difference between being an instructional pastor and a parental pastor. In order to build a healthy and strong church family, we are convinced that there must be an atmosphere of encouragement, tenderness, patience, listening, affection and love. Even when correction and reproof is necessary, it still comes forth from this foundation of grace.

In the Process of God

Often we set forth our prayer request before the Lord, but instead of responding to the request like we thought He would, God does it in a completely different way. You may need a job, higher income, or some other blessing, but instead, the Lord directs your pastors to engage in a teaching series about marriage and family. Why would God put you in such a position?

Well, Psalm 133 says, "Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity.... For there the LORD commanded the blessing—  Life forevermore."

Could it be that the Lord desires to bring your family into unity first, so that He can command the blessing upon it? He has been sending the answer to your prayer, but the answer comes according to God's designed plan. That's why He will send you to a ministry that's talking about the healing of hearts and homes and not about financial breakthrough. Yes, He's answering your prayer. It's just that the answer doesn't look like your desired solution until you begin to accept the WAYS of God.

We see it like this. If you ask the Lord for an apple, He'll give you an apple seed. Jesus Christ said the Kingdom of God is like a mustard seed. God will place something very small and seemingly insignificant into our hands, but we have to see its ultimate potential in spite of its small size. That's how God's answers come to us. You can expect that type of answer when you pray and ask the Lord for something. Most times He will respond with a seed that has the answer within it.

Some of us have been praying for healing in our families, but instead of getting an instant manifestation of heart changes in our spouse or children, God direct us to a ministry where His Word is going forth like seed.

An apple farmer doesn't go out and buy apples. He plants apple seeds to produce an orchard. That's what we're trying to say to you today. For a while, the Lord may have given you apples, but as you mature, HE starts giving you seeds so that you can begin to grow an orchard. The harvest you are looking for is in the form of seed right now. But if you keep allowing the Word to be seeded into your life, you will start to see your field produce.

The issue becomes this: What kind of soil is that seed going into? If the soil of your heart is hard or filled with debris, the answer to your prayer won't have an opportunity to start growing.  If you allow the cares of this life and the deceitfulness of riches to grow in your heart, like thorns, they will actually kill the answers that were planted.  Other times we may have an enthusiastic response to the seed, but it turns out that we really only received it on a very shallow, emotional level. When the answer gets tested and opposed, we get offended by that very answer. Sometimes we even get offended by the sower (teacher) of that Word.

We share this with you so that you don't allow discouragement to tell you that it's pointless to attend church gatherings and listen to sermons that seem to have nothing to do with what you are facing.

Remember, you're going through a process. Orchards, fields and vines don't reach maturity and bear fruit overnight, but they do grow.  It takes a little while to renew your mind and change. It took many years to develop your current pattern of thinking and behavior. Give yourself time to grow and develop into the new direction God has for your life.

Again we're going to be a little controversial as we make this point about your process in God. John 15: 1-2 (NKJV) reads: “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit."

Many preachers and teachers quote this scripture in such a way that portrays God as an intolerant being who has no compassion for His people's growth process. We have been taught that anyone who does not bear fruit is cut off.

In our study of this scripture, we discovered that the meaning of the Greek term for takes away has four definitions. Three of the four definitions mean 'to lift up' and one of those three means to lift up in order to carry. Only the fourth definition means to remove, and even that removal is talking about what is removed FROM the branch, NOT the removal OF the branch itself.

These four definitions describe the actual practice of what takes place when a vinedresser has nonproductive or under productive branches on their vines. The more accurate meaning would be: Any branch that is not producing fruit, the vinedresser lifts it from its current position on the trellis and trains it to grow in a different position, where it can become fruitful.

One of the reasons this is done is so that branches that are not receiving enough sunlight can be moved to spots where they are able to receive it. There is also a season of removing shoots, leaves and unproductive sections of the branch to help it to become fruitful.

Many preachers and teachers have been misinterpreting the removal aspect and not understood the entire vine dressing process. Historically, vine dressers in the time of Christ, spent a great deal of time lifting and moving branches on the trellis. They did not instantly cut off unfruitful branches. They would give new and young vines a season or two, to become productive.

For some of you, that's why God is moving you to a different church assembly. You had become unfruitful in your last place, so HE is shifting you. He's simply moving you to a different position on the trellis where you can receive the radiant light of His Word; from which you can finally become fruitful. He didn't cut you off the vine because HE knew you were in a place where you were not able to bear fruit. In this season of your life, HE is lifting you, just like a vinedresser.

Now that you are in a different position and environment, don’t get discouraged and don't give up.  Yes, it is uncomfortable and nothing is like what you are accustomed to, but you are in the process of God. He is committed to seeing you through the process. He is committed to rebuilding, restoring and renewing your heart and home.

Promise of Commitment

Over thirty years ago, we made an agreement that has carried and sustained our marriage relationship.

Yes, like thousands of couples, we stood before a pastor, in a church, in front of family and friends, and recited the wedding vows. We nervously smiled in anticipation of the wedding night and a lifetime of marital bliss. Finally, we were going to be living together, spending uninterrupted time, no longer facing the agonizing late night departures and telephone good-byes. We were going to finally be able to pool our money, plan a future and begin our pursuit of the American dream.

However, six months later, we couldn’t even have a decent conversation without strained atmosphere. We discovered that we didn’t have the same alphabet. We didn’t have the same definition of terms. Our body language was even misinterpreted. So, six months after pledging our lives and hearts in a wedding ceremony, we sat down together and made a PACT.

Today, we are realizing how important that agreement really was and we are sharing with our small congregation and our online subscribers, what we have discovered in our journey.

We found that our PACT was Biblically based. It was deeply rooted in sound doctrine.  The PACT was summed up in Ephesians 5:31-33: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Today, in America, many men are strongly opposed to this command to love their wives the way Christ loves the church. Many women almost consider words like submit and respect to be profanity. In the face of a society that pushes individuality and personal success, we are under divine mandate to present God’s point of view about marriage. We guess we are still some of those 'old school' folks who believe that the foundation of the community is the family, and the foundation of the family is the marriage relationship between a man and woman.

We didn't say that you don't have a family if you don't have a mom or dad present in the home. We're just stating what GOD had in mind when HE started everything in the beginning. Certainly God has graced many families to thrive as the remaining spouse pressed forward for the sake of the children. But in this discussion, we are dealing with the intended foundation of the family: marriage.

While many are tweaking and adjusting the terms of marriage to fit their own preferences and lifestyles, we feel that we must lovingly and firmly present the truth of God’s Word.

If a marriage fails, you don’t discard the fundamental institution of marriage, no more than one would refuse to ever drive a car again because it had a flat tire, or if the battery dies. You repair what went wrong and you keep driving. If the car runs out of gas, you don’t give up on the car. You do whatever you have to do in order to get some more fuel into it again. You wouldn’t say “I don’t believe in automobiles because they break down and you have to keep refueling them.”

However, this society declares that since so many marriages have failed, we no longer need the institution of marriage or if you decide to get married, you don’t have to apply the principles of God’s Word in the relationship. Many couples approach marriage like a very loose boyfriend-girlfriend connection. At the first sign of trouble, they have already created all kinds of escape routes.

One of our very good friends, Pastor Joe Green of Antioch Assembly here in Harrisburg, PA, shared that he discovered that one of the Hebrew word-pictures for marriage is that of a couple being locked and barred inside of a house with no way to escape. If there is a fire, they have to work together to put out the fire, not try to find a way to get out of the house. As radical as that may sound, that’s how marriage works. It’s not about self preservation. It’s about doing whatever it takes for US to make it; not just for ME to make it. BOTH people must make the promise of commitment to make it work.

Now of course this e-newsletter is being read by many who have already experienced the pain of separation and divorce. What can you take away from this conversation?

We believe that you still have to embrace God’s Word on the subject of marriage. You must resist the temptation to adopt worldly philosophy to your outlook on marriage. You must resist the temptation to apply personal interpretation of the Word of God by changing the meaning of the scripture to fit your feelings.

If you should choose to enter into the covenant bonds of marriage again, you cannot apply self preservation principles. Of course, that is going to be very tough because of what you’ve gone through, but unless you fully embrace God’s Word about marriage, you will inevitably end up in divorce again. It will happen for a different reason than before, but it will still be the same results as before.

As high as the divorce rate is for couples, it's even higher for people who are on their second marriage. Why? We believe it's because they still try to make it work without Biblically rooted principles. So how do you reach a place of healing and restoration so that you can open your heart and fulfill the promise of commitment in a marriage?

Last Sunday we took on that challenge as we introduced the commitment portion of the PACT, but we began by looking at the commitment the Lord has made to us. There is nothing like coming face to face with the unconditional love of God. In Romans 5:8 the Bible declares, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

We explained the agonizing decision that Jesus made in the garden of Gethsemane, to become sin for us and to be separated from the Father on our behalf. He became the ransom that paid for the hostage’s release. Please realize that before we can ever commit to another human being at such a deep level, we must first commit ourselves to the Lord. When we really understand what HE did for us, it makes us love Him that much more. It produces a supernatural level of loyalty to Him.

We ministered a very special song to the church family that expresses this kind of love for God. The lyrics are: I will continue with Jesus in the garden of decision. Continue with Him when I’m running endless miles. Continue with Jesus through the times of tribulation. Continue with Him through this trial. Continue with Him through it all.

We have discovered that the commitment within the PACT does not begin with Chris’ commitment to Carol or Carol’s commitment to Chris. It begins with Chris and Carol’s commitment to God. That commitment comes from a revelation of and response to God's love for us.

One of the failures in Christian marriage is due to two human beings trying to commit to one another without the healing and restoration that comes by continually committing their lives to God through their personal relationship with Jesus Christ. They must constantly remind themselves of what the Lord has really done on their behalf. Without this reminder, one person or the other will begin to take the marriage relationship for granted.

When we acknowledge, daily, what God has done for us, it keeps our hearts open, grateful, humble and capable of loving others (our spouse in particular) the way God loves us. That’s what gives us the ability to extend mercy and unconditional love and respect to one another.