What God Alone Has Joined

For the record, we want to make it known that we love our future daughter in law very much. From the moment we first met her, we knew that she was the ONE. Since she is from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, there was apprehension on David’s part in telling us that his girlfriend was White and from another country and culture.

From our perspective, we were amazed that David had a girlfriend at all. He had always been very shy when it came to talking to young ladies. He told us that he had met someone before Michelle. She happened to be African American. However, she wasn’t willing to make the kind of commitment to Christ that was embedded in our son’s DNA. We thank God that he was not willing to compromise his walk with God for a pretty face.

Our first encounter with Michelle was through tragedy. The associate pastor of our home church suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. Thus, we had to make an emergency, unplanned trip to our home church for the funeral. As we were driving to St. Louis, we received a call on our cell phone. It was Michelle. She wanted to know if it was okay for her and David to drive to St. Louis for the funeral. She said it was obvious that this pastor had been someone that was very special to David and she didn’t want him to miss the service. The journey to St. Louis from Tulsa was nearly seven hours and they would have to take on the driving challenge in a quick weekend turn around so that they could get back to school on time. I her told it was okay with us as long as her parents approved.

We were deeply impacted by her love and concern for David. I was deeply impacted by her confidence and forthrightness to speak to her boyfriend’s dad. There was no pretense, no hidden agenda, and no hypocrisy. She was as real as David and his brothers. So, that’s how we first met her; at the funeral of a dear brother and friend.

Before that event David had been apprehensive about telling us about Michelle because he knew that his mother’s life had been negatively impacted by someone who was White. When Carol’s dad left the family, it was due to an adulterous affair with a woman who was White. So David was really concerned about how his mother would respond.

When Carol met our future daughter in law, there was instantly love for her. We have embraced her as one of our own. Our son’s Christopher and Jonathan have embraced her as their sister. Only outsiders make distinctions in countries, culture and color.

Tomorrow morning we journey to Tulsa, Oklahoma, the place where we first met, to see one of our son’s unite in Holy Matrimony to the love of his life. Life is truly amazing sometimes.

We’ll close this week’s letter with a song that we wrote many years ago called What God Alone Has Joined.

A million memories flood my mind
So many things I’ve left behind
Regrets and words that I’ve left unsaid
Like pages in a book unread

Did I do enough to prepare your way?
Did I live enough so that you can say?
Mom and Dad, God heard you when you prayed 
And I can make this vow on my wedding day

They say I’m gaining a son, not losing a daughter
I’m gaining a daughter, not losing a son
So we fight back the tears beholding this union
Let no man put asunder, what God alone has joined

Toys and games now left in corners
Of rooms that will hold a different tomorrow
Recalling chills and spills, giggles and sorrows
My time as your parent was something I borrowed

Now the season has changed and that time is over
We let go today as father and mother
Now the chills and spills, giggles and sorrows
You will share in this life with a covenant partner

They say I’m gaining a son, not losing a daughter
I’m gaining a daughter, not losing a son
So we fight back the tears beholding this union

Let no man put asunder, what God alone has joined