Living for Something Greater Than Yourself

This week, I want to continue encourage the men. I believe God is assembling an incredible group of guys in our church family. I’ll share something special that has occurred the last two Sundays.

We have a ministry for children. We are very small and attendance is too sporadic to establish a children’s department, so for now, we try to provide ministry for children whenever we have them in attendance.

We had quite a few children to attend a couple of weeks ago and two of our men stepped up to take on the ministry for them. Last Sunday, we again had some children in attendance and two men stepped up to handle it for us. 

In each week, one man showed our 30 minute Bible story video and then asked a few follow-up questions to make sure the children got the point of the story. Then another brother stepped in to help by playing with the children the final half hour. You might say that it took two men to do the work of one woman, but my main point is that we broke all of the stereotypical views of ministry by having the guys step up to minister to our children.

They demonstrated the value of this strategy that Nehemiah implemented: Therefore I positioned men behind the lower parts of the wall, at the openings; and I set the people according to their families, with their swords, their spears, and their bows. Nehemiah 4: 13

These guys answered the calling for the men to take their place in the lower positions of the wall. The lower position is right at the foundation of the wall. I look forward to the day when the men will take the lead in many of the vital areas in our community.

The reason this is important to me as a local pastor is because I know what this will do for the ego and confidence of our men and the emotional security and confidence of the women. Let me explain what I mean.

When it comes to a man’s ego and a woman’s emotions, both genders have a difficult time understanding the other. Here’s what both genders are trying to comprehend. Many women think a man’s ego is just his pride and stubbornness. Men think that a woman’s emotions are just her feelings gone out of control.

Ladies, for men, ego is everything. His ego is way more than just his pride. The ego is the essence of that man. It’s about WHO he is and WHAT he is. It is attached to his motivations, hopes, dreams, insecurities and most vulnerable self. He hides his ego with his pride, or with his anger and stubbornness. The outward expression is merely a shield for the ego.

The man with the damaged ego is that person who no longer wants to do anything with his life. He can sit and do nothing all day, every day, for months and years. Even if he has plans and dreams, he no longer has motivation within himself to get up and get back out into the world. That man is a very serious project that will take GOD to heal and reconstruct.

Having said that though, let’s talk about that brother who IS working and trying to survive in this world. When a wife, mother or sister uses the phrase, ‘Why don’t you do this… why don’t you go here… why don’t you want to fix yourself up, or did I hurt your little ego…’ what she has just communicated is that she doesn’t love him for WHO he is. She just communicated that she only loves him for what he can do for her.

What he heard her say was that she doesn’t accept him. He was once THE MAN, but now all these improvements she wants to make on him means she is either embarrassed by him or she no longer loves him for who he is. (In some situations, that’s exactly what she is saying.) However, I’m not presenting a solution. That’s impossible in a short blog. Right now, I’m presenting a perspective that can lead to solutions.

You see, some people (mostly women) like changing their hair, changing clothes, changing styles, and constantly trying to improve and get better stuff. However, there are many MEN, in particular, who don’t feel this way and have no drive to do this. Their drive is for something else.

Their drive is to find fulfillment in accomplishments. Men must have purpose! After obtaining the goal, then they might notice other things that need to be fixed up. Most women seek self-improvement and home-improvement first, and after that has been accomplished, she can go after the other goals and take on the world. Yes, MEN (most of us anyway) are completely the opposite. We want to take on the world first!

So, why am I saying all of this? For a man to take this position at the foundation of the wall, it means God is speaking to and reaching the ego of that man. God is healing the very essence of who he is. God is strengthening and building that warrior, that protector, that provider, that priest and that drive that HE placed within us to accomplish, and fulfill purpose.

That’s why a couple of our men could step up and take on the ministry for the children, instead of deferring it to our women. It was about being the men they are called to be.

When you’re a boy, you live your life focused on what you always wanted to do and what you always wanted to be. But when you become a man, you can hear the voice of God, speaking to your inner man, that ego. To take this lower-wall position, you have to swallow your pride and let go of the childish dreams. You are now taking on the role to live your life for something greater than yourself.

I’ll stop for now and conclude this discussion next week.