Life Coach Nugget: Gift of Resilency

A Father's Day Video

I have some very fond memories with my dad. He was a fun-loving dad who always threw caution to the wind. It got him in trouble many times, but it also gave his children a sense of adventure and daring that proved to be very helpful for us when we found ourselves called in to the ministry.

My dad saw my love for sports and took me to my first baseball game. The St. Louis Cardinals were playing the Montreal Expos and Jose Cardenal hit a two run double in the seventh inning that gave them a 4-2 victory. I couldn’t believe I was actually there, in a 50,000 seat stadium, looking at the high tech scoreboard, the massive crowd, and experiencing all the sounds I always heard when I listened to games on the radio. I had become a devoted fan; and dad gave me a chance to experience the real thing; to actually see my heroes live and in person. I have cherished that memory all of my life. 

There were many other games in the years that followed. I especially loved the day I sat between my dad and his dad and watched Bob Gibson, my all time favorite Cardinal baseball player, pitch on Labor Day. I actually realized I was experiencing something very special that would never happen again; three generations, sitting together, enjoying our favorite sport.

Those were the times that established something in my heart that I have tried to give my children. There are once-in-a-life-time opportunities that come your way, and I try to open the door for them to experience some of them. Then there are some things you cannot wait for, because some memories you simply have to make.

Through the years, I hope my children have had special moments that they recall with the same kind of fondness and deep impacting love that I feel when I think back on special moments with my dad.

My dad didn’t always put his arms around my shoulder, or say 'I love you' in those moments. He wasn’t that kind of man. He gave us nicknames and he always told us he was proud of us. When I was struggling in arithmetic, he started calling me 'math major' and it built my confidence to try harder and I found success. I became a straight-A student in math.

My dad is not perfect. He had his issues with his children from time to time, like any father. I was sort of a middle child. He married my mom, who already had a precious little girl, and they had three sons before I came along. One son died while my mom was pregnant with me. Then they had two more children after me. 

There were many times when life was very hard. It was downright harsh and cruel. I was angry with him many times, mainly because I had no idea what it took to be the head of the household. I learned from his mistakes and failures, as well as his resiliency. And maybe that’s the greatest thing my dad gave us; resiliency.

Just like my dad’s journey, as a husband and father, life has been hard, sometimes harsh and downright cruel for me, but I learned from my dad how to get up and go to work every day, no matter how you feel. When I lost jobs, opportunities, homes, friends, and loved ones, I knew how to get up and keep going. Dad demonstrated to us that you should never give up, even after a failure. You never stop, no matter how you feel.

So in honor of my dad and ultimately, God, my heavenly Father, I wrote a song many years ago that expresses thanks. I gave it an informal title: Thank You Daddy.

I just want to share that song with you this week. 

The lyrics are:

There’s so much I take for granted, 

Like the rising of the sun

Every time I see the morning, 

Never thankful for the dawn

Like a father who’s always there, 

With the same things every day

So consistent and expected, 

Sometimes I forget to say

(Chorus)

Thank you daddy

For the blue that’s in the sky

Thank you daddy

For the light that’s in Your eye

Thank you daddy

For the life beat I’ve been handed

I get so busy

I'm taking you for granted

There’s so much you’re always doing, 

You watch my life and keep me safe

Sometimes you throw in extras, 

Giving me a little bit more grace

You take the time to listen, 

When all I bring are complaints

You carry me on your shoulders, 

And you sing to me in the rain

I can always recall 

The discipline you gave

All the nights you spent with me

And the path that you have paved

You’ll give more love tomorrow

Than all my yesterdays

So please forgive me daddy

I never take the time to say 

Thank you, thank you

For every single day

Thank you, thank you

For every breath I take

Thank you, thank you 

You made us sons and daughters

Thank you, thank you

Because you are our Father

Thank you

© Green, Christopher 2002

Life Coach Nugget: Daddy, Where are You?

As I’m writing, prophetically I see children who are lost in a toy store. Have you ever been in a store when a child suddenly realized that their mom or dad is not standing next to them any longer? They ignored the gentle command, “It’s time to stop now. Let’s go.” They were caught up in the moment because they were surrounded by so many toys. They’ve been playing with the stuff for a while, so they didn’t notice that daddy is not in the same aisle. The child’s first call is a casual, “Daddy?” They don’t hear a response so they ask again, “Daddy?” 

That’s when they drop the toys and start looking around. They see strangers all around them and the panic sets in. Where is my daddy? The world is huge and nothing is familiar. The toys are forgotten as the temporary distraction disappears. The all-consuming thought is, ‘Where is my daddy?’

That’s when the cry comes up out of the child’s heart and they don’t care who sees or hears them. The only thing that matters is finding daddy. So they scream with all of their might and at the top of their lungs, “DADDY, WHERE ARE YOU?” They search aisle after aisle and they don’t see the video games, the bicycles, or the coloring books. Even though all of these things are still at their finger tips, they begin to run past all that stuff and cry, “DADDY!”

There is a cry in the heart of God’s people in this hour. No, God has not abandoned us, but He’s had to allow us to experience what it’s like to find ourselves caught up with our toys. I realize more than ever, that I’d rather have my Daddy, than having all of the stuff He can give me. The toys, games and gifts are okay, but nothing replaces Him.

It's difficult to express how important it is to fight against the distractions that are increasing all around us. I once heard a preacher say that the biggest hindrance to a believer can sometimes be the last victory or the last success they just had. They get settled with that moment and don’t want to keep moving with God. 

We know we’re writing to many different people, in many different stages of life. From teenagers to senior citizens, many of us have so many regrets and unsettled issues in our memories that it makes it difficult to believe God in our present circumstance. That’s because we can recall the prayers we have lifted before the Lord and the requests for Him to change our situations. 

Yet, everything seems to remain the same or it’s not changing the way we envisioned. However, Carol and I boldly declare to you that the ultimate prayer of sincerity and trust is not a request for God to do something for us, but it is the prayer for God to do something within us."

Life Coach Nugget: Brotherly Love

I had lunch with a very dear friend and brother, whom God has used greatly in our lives. He and his wife have been what Barnabas was for the apostle Paul. Barnabas was the one that brought Paul into the confidence of the early church elders. This couple brought us into the confidence of many elders in this region. We've been in fellowship, friendship and covenant relationship with them for ten years, now.

For both of us, this lunch was a time to reconnect and get brought up to speed. In the midst of our conversation he asked some very sensitive questions, of which he felt that I was the only person he could direct them to and get honest answers, without being offended. He's White. I'm Black. We are worlds apart in life's experiences and therefore, our views can be vastly different.

He asked if it was true that the police stop and pull over African Americans for no reason.

I responded, "O' YES! I've been stopped by the cops just about all of my life. It's just a normal part of life where I grew up."

I gave him that response even as I recalled being stopped as early as 8 years old for merely walking down the street. All through my teenage years, young adult years, and right up until we moved to Harrisburg, being stopped by the police was just a normal part of life in St. Louis, Missouri.

I watched my dear friend's eyes become filled with tears as he observed the casual, matter-of-fact manner in which I answered him. In that moment, I knew why God had brought our lives together. My friend and brother was genuinely touched by the experiences of my life. He did not minimize my experience. He did not rationalize it away. He did not dismiss it with over-spiritualization. He did not try to offer any answers, reasons, or excuses. He simply absorbed my life's experience into himself and he was visibly moved by it.

He asked a couple of more questions, based upon my first answer, but those were matters of statistics and trends that neither of us could explain or substantiate. The key moment had already come upon us, though. I felt it was another one of those historical moments that happens in an obscure setting, but has powerful implications in the spirit realm.

Across this state, many are praying for brotherly love to sweep across Pennsylvania. Well, this conversation was a manifestation of how that prayer is being answered.

Last week, I wrote to you guys about being unified in purpose and how coming together had to be much more than big corporate gatherings that yield no fruit or change in our hearts and homes. Little did I know that the very next day, after sending that email to you, that I'd be sitting in a restaurant, experiencing another divine connection that would make a tangible impact.

I will forever be deeply touched by the look in my brother's eyes as I answered his sincere questions. What happened between us, in that moment, was the level of brotherly love, I know, that God will bring all across this region and state.

So, I encourage you today, to not only look to the huge corporate gatherings to experience these kind of moments, but look for God to invade your conversation with a co-worker or friend. God is going to set up one-on-one meetings like this, to break down barriers and flood our hearts, homes and communities with this kind of love and understanding.

Let His love flow through you this week. You never know who needs to drink from the overflow of your life.

Life Coach Chris Green