Increasing in Wisdom, Stature and Favor

A couple of weeks ago, I was reading my morning devotional from Oswald Chamber’s ‘My Utmost for His Highest’. I’ve been reading this particular book for many years, but it’s still amazing how God can speak something new into my heart each year that I go through it.

This particular day’s reading led me to a profound thought. The Holy Spirit of God reminded me of the words of Jesus when he was twelve years old. You can find his response to His parents, who had been searching for him for several days. Luke 2:49 records his response to them: “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” The Bible goes on to say,”.…they did not understand His statement, but then He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them, but His mother kept all these things in her heart."

After this, the Holy Spirit reminded me of Jesus’ words when He was a thirty-something year old man. In John 5: 19 He says: "Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner.”

The twelve year old Christ was full of zeal and ready to go forth with God’s work, but He had a process to go through. The thirty year old Christ shows us the result of going through this process.

As a human being, Jesus had to learn obedience. The almighty God of the universe, while dwelling in human flesh, subjected himself to earthly, human, flawed parents.

We must go through the same process. There are many 'twelve-year old' adolescents in the Body of Christ, who are out on their own, having pulled away from their spiritual family, and they are trying to be about God’s business. But like the boy Jesus, they need to go home. They need to submit to spiritual leaders and parents, who are human beings, with flaws and failings.

Many adolescent Believers are in rebellion because they discovered the flaws and failings of their leaders. They felt that this discovery gave them the right to leave them and start their own church or ministry. They felt it gave them the right to ignore the counsel and guidance of their leaders.

This has led to thousands of churches starting all over America. There are often three and four church buildings in one inner city block, in neighborhoods across the country. However, many of them are merely gatherings of rebellious and naive spiritual adolescents, seeking attention and affirmation.

We believe that the trials and tribulations of these last days will filter out the adolescents from the adults. There will be a distinction between the immature and the mature. The mature ones will be those who have submitted to the process and progression of Christ.

After submitting to His parents, the only thing the Bible says about the next 18 years of Jesus’ life was recorded in Luke 2:52 which states: And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.

I certainly want to be that kind of leader and I consider it an honor to oversee people who desire the same.

Contemplative Approach to People

A few years ago, one of my colleagues labeled me ‘the contemplative pastor’. He said I was always approaching issues and problems with thoughts and perspective that are not very important to most people, but they are keys for introducing understanding into any situation.

I didn’t know how to take that statement at that time. I thought I was a straight forward, in your face, kind of minister. However, as I look back over the past nine years, I can see how the Lord has led us on a path that has required us to look beyond the surface of every negative issue in our hearts and homes.

A couple of days ago, someone posted a five minute video clip of a pastor publicly correcting various men in the congregation. One was a young man who wanted to get married, but he told the brother, “You don’t even attend church, and now you want me to perform your wedding?” Then he looked at his fiancée and asked, “Do you want to marry a man who doesn't come to church?”

Next, he publicly corrected the young man in the video room because apparently he allows the youth of the church to gather in that room to socialize instead of making them go out into the auditorium.

One thing that caught my attention was that the pastor said he was ready to quit and go start again with a small group of people who really needed help.

Needless to say, most of the comments regarding the video were all about abusive leaders. However, one person said this pastor’s rant was similar to the way Jesus talked to religious people in His day. The video was stirring up quite a debate as people began to throw scriptures back and forth to support their positions. Some felt the video segment demonstrated correction in love. Others felt that it was abuse.

Well, you guys know me. I jumped in and said it was impossible to draw a conclusion to the video because it was only a five minute clip from an entire sermon. I shared that it’s impossible to make a judgment based upon five minutes of what seems like a pastor going off on the congregation. I asked: What was said before those five minutes? What was said after the five minutes? The pastor may have apologized afterwards. What happened after the service? We don’t know, so we can’t make a determination.

I added that I felt it was wrong for the pastor to do this publicly, but I also stated that we don’t know what led up to this moment. We don’t know what level of rebellion that may have been present in this congregation.

Of course you guys know that I was not justifying abuse, but (being the contemplative pastor) I could not dismiss the obvious frustration, discouragement and the possible depression this pastor may have been wrestling with in that moment.

I share this with you today to remind you to not be so quick to judge the flaws and failings in people. We don’t know the history behind a sudden outburst of rage or anger. As we have learned from our first lesson about mental illness, some people are battling with issues that are not obvious from the outside. Some people are on medication, and even though the medication is helping their brain chemistry, the side effects can produce agitation and anger.

We just don’t know the whole story behind the things that people say and do.

Many Believers don’t realize that there are hundreds of pastors who are being abused by their congregations, board of elders, and overseers. We only tend to think of pastors being the perpetrators of abuse within a congregation. It’s sort of like the way we view domestic abuse as always being a man beating on a woman, but believe me, there are countless cases of men who are being abused by their wives. They don’t say anything in order to protect the children or because no one will believe them.

It is my prayer that as we grow in grace and in the knowledge of Jesus Christ, that we will develop hearts of compassion and understanding. There is far too much judgmental-ism in the American church. 

Reality In Your Own Church Community

Several of my Facebook friends have posted very serious commentaries about a crop of reality TV shows that are about to hit the American masses about mega-church pastors and gospel music artist.

Most of the comments were very insightful, noting very serious concerns about how each ministry will be presented from an industry that edits the raw footage and manipulates the scenes to present a view of these ministers that can possibly be completely different from who they are in real life.

Other people, like us, were very concerned with how church leadership will be viewed after watching these shows. Since most Americans outside of the religious community already have very little respect for ministers, we don’t see how these shows will improve their perception. There is a saying in the media industry: Perception is reality.

As unfair as that statement may be, it is a fact in America. That’s why so many producers and directors of television and film are such masters of the art of manipulating reality. They know that in today’s world, whatever people perceive a person, place or thing to be, that first impression becomes set in their minds like hardened concrete. It is nearly impossible to change their thinking from that point forward.

It doesn’t matter how many statistics and examples that are placed in front of them; even if genuine, humble, hardworking pastors and singers are set before them, they will ALL be viewed through the lenses of that first perception that was received from the ‘Reality TV’ show. In all fairness, some of the shows may turn out to be very good. A few weeks ago, we saw one that was very tastefully done by the Sheards, a very famous gospel music and ministry family.

Since we’re very familiar with what goes on behind the scenes, we still view these shows with caution because there is always a bit of ‘staging’ that is taking place. The audience tends to forget that they are viewing the show from the perspective of a camera, lighting and audio crew that is setting up the scenes. We must also remember that people in front of the camera are being compensated for the show. No matter how much is shared, we will never get the entire story.

So having said this, we want to say that the best Reality show of a church and its leaders is the experience that members are sharing with the pastors in their own local church. One of the dangers of these new TV shows is that thousands of people will begin to judge the validity of their pastors and the mission of their home church, based upon what they see on these weekly TV packages.

Everything from the size of the congregation to the décor of the sanctuary will be judged and compared to what is shown on television. People will see where these folks live, what they wear and what they drive. Then they will look to see where their pastor lives, what they wear and what they drive. They will begin to set new standards in their own hearts to determine if whether they should support their pastor or find a church that’s more like what they see in these TV shows.

At the risk of sounding like we’re promoting ourselves and our ministry, we must share what the Bible has to say. We go to the Bible on this issue because we know the power and victory of a Word-filled life.

Did you know that the Bible already has a criteria set for how to know if whether you have good and solid pastoral leadership?

In 1 Timothy 3:1-10 the Bible gives us an easy-to-understand list. It says,
 “This is a faithful saying: If a man desires the position of a bishop (church overseer), he desires a good work. A bishop (overseer) then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?); not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. Moreover he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.”

Also look at the qualification list found in Titus. Titus 1:6-9— “….if a man is blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of dissipation or insubordination. For a bishop [overseer] must be blameless, as a steward of God, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but hospitable, a lover of what is good, sober-minded, just, holy, self-controlled, holding fast the faithful word as he has been taught, that he may be able, by sound doctrine, both to exhort and convict those who contradict.”

If anyone can proclaim these things about their pastors and church leaders, then they are definitely in a good place. It has nothing to do with the size of the congregation, the type of facility they meet in, where the pastors live, what kind of car the pastor drives, what they wear, their outgoing personality, or their gifting to sing, preach or teach. It all comes down to what the Bible says about them.

So, REALITY should be found in your own church community. In other words, you want to be in a church where the pastors are setting an example of how to deal with everyday life. You need more than examples of how to perform on a stage two or three times a week. You need examples of how to be a husband, wife, father, mother, co-worker, or student. What are the leader’s attitudes in adversity? How do they face disappointments? How do they deal with success? Their lives need to be so REAL that you can learn how to fight for your family just by watching them.

If all they are getting is a weekly performance on a stage or in a pulpit, they may need to consider getting in touch with a REAL church family. We’re not saying we’re the only church like that in Harrisburg, but we are saying that we are one that believes in this kind of ministry.

In Appreciation

I realize that we have a very radical ministry and I wish there was some way to show our church family how much I appreciate each of them for hanging in there with us. I know that it can be difficult to break the pattern of church attendance that has been passed down through countless generations, but they are doing it.

It's been quite a challenge to change from weekly church attendance to meeting two Sundays a month in a public gathering and two Sundays a month in family gatherings. Not many people would keep holding on and believing a leader who is doing something that no other church in the community is doing.

Our vision is very simple. We're following the pattern of the early church in Acts 2. The Bible says that they continued steadfast in the apostles doctrine and fellowship, in breaking of bread and in prayers. It describes how they met house to house and in the temple.

We believe that we are moving in a 21st century version of Acts 2. On the First Sunday of the month we have teaching and prayer. On the third Sunday of the month we have the breaking of bread and fellowship.

Now as we move into the summer months we are stepping up our teaching by starting new sessions of instruction to help us minister to family and friends who are facing some of life's most difficult challenges. We want to provide understanding of what people are going through.

At the request of one of our Urban Life members, we're going to talk about mental illness during our first Sunday in July gathering. In the following months, we're going to take on subjects like addiction, anxiety and depression. We believe that our ministry in Harrisburg is reaching the pinnacle of its purpose in this community. This type of teaching and instruction is going to be pivotal in helping us fulfill our purpose of rebuilding, restoring and renewing hearts and homes.

On the third Sunday in July, we're going to start the Lifetree conversations again. We have permission to host a monthly Sunday brunch in the United Church Center and we are going to include the one-hour discussion-based ministry. It is our hope that this will give us the perfect opportunity to invite our co-workers, classmates, neighbors and friends. It is our prayer that the Lifetree conversations will become a part of everyone's personal effort to lead and disciple someone into a genuine relationship with God.

In the meantime, our home church gatherings will continue on the second and fourth Sundays of each month.

Somehow I must believe that God is prophetically guiding us. In some way, we might be modeling the kind of change that is coming to America's churches. Through circumstances beyond our control, we were forced to alter our weekly gatherings. Now, we have developed a pattern of meetings that are actually far better than what we were doing in the past.

I believe the Lord is helping us the establish the first of many churches and ministries that we will oversee. Part of the prophetic word over us was that we would establish churches because we have an apostolic calling upon us. Harrisburg is becoming the model and template for what God has called us to do.

So I don't despise our small beginnings. Now I live in appreciation.

What God Alone Has Joined

For the record, we want to make it known that we love our future daughter in law very much. From the moment we first met her, we knew that she was the ONE. Since she is from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, there was apprehension on David’s part in telling us that his girlfriend was White and from another country and culture.

From our perspective, we were amazed that David had a girlfriend at all. He had always been very shy when it came to talking to young ladies. He told us that he had met someone before Michelle. She happened to be African American. However, she wasn’t willing to make the kind of commitment to Christ that was embedded in our son’s DNA. We thank God that he was not willing to compromise his walk with God for a pretty face.

Our first encounter with Michelle was through tragedy. The associate pastor of our home church suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. Thus, we had to make an emergency, unplanned trip to our home church for the funeral. As we were driving to St. Louis, we received a call on our cell phone. It was Michelle. She wanted to know if it was okay for her and David to drive to St. Louis for the funeral. She said it was obvious that this pastor had been someone that was very special to David and she didn’t want him to miss the service. The journey to St. Louis from Tulsa was nearly seven hours and they would have to take on the driving challenge in a quick weekend turn around so that they could get back to school on time. I her told it was okay with us as long as her parents approved.

We were deeply impacted by her love and concern for David. I was deeply impacted by her confidence and forthrightness to speak to her boyfriend’s dad. There was no pretense, no hidden agenda, and no hypocrisy. She was as real as David and his brothers. So, that’s how we first met her; at the funeral of a dear brother and friend.

Before that event David had been apprehensive about telling us about Michelle because he knew that his mother’s life had been negatively impacted by someone who was White. When Carol’s dad left the family, it was due to an adulterous affair with a woman who was White. So David was really concerned about how his mother would respond.

When Carol met our future daughter in law, there was instantly love for her. We have embraced her as one of our own. Our son’s Christopher and Jonathan have embraced her as their sister. Only outsiders make distinctions in countries, culture and color.

Tomorrow morning we journey to Tulsa, Oklahoma, the place where we first met, to see one of our son’s unite in Holy Matrimony to the love of his life. Life is truly amazing sometimes.

We’ll close this week’s letter with a song that we wrote many years ago called What God Alone Has Joined.

A million memories flood my mind
So many things I’ve left behind
Regrets and words that I’ve left unsaid
Like pages in a book unread

Did I do enough to prepare your way?
Did I live enough so that you can say?
Mom and Dad, God heard you when you prayed 
And I can make this vow on my wedding day

They say I’m gaining a son, not losing a daughter
I’m gaining a daughter, not losing a son
So we fight back the tears beholding this union
Let no man put asunder, what God alone has joined

Toys and games now left in corners
Of rooms that will hold a different tomorrow
Recalling chills and spills, giggles and sorrows
My time as your parent was something I borrowed

Now the season has changed and that time is over
We let go today as father and mother
Now the chills and spills, giggles and sorrows
You will share in this life with a covenant partner

They say I’m gaining a son, not losing a daughter
I’m gaining a daughter, not losing a son
So we fight back the tears beholding this union

Let no man put asunder, what God alone has joined