My goal must simply be to please God

When the Lord called us out and sent us into the ministry, we had the typical grand vision of a large congregation, a powerful worship team and a huge staff of leaders and volunteers reaching out to the community to make disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ.

However, what we experienced was so far from what we envisioned that we often felt we had made a mistake in even starting a church. I often felt I should just pack it all in, tuck my tail in, return to the St. Louis church community, and just admit that we blew it because we never should have been so arrogant as to think we should be doing this.

After eight years of ministry and almost nine years of living in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, we still minister to only about ten to twelve people each week in a small space that is basically a room for various church and outreach organizations to hold their board meetings.

We move a couple of tables in an effort to arrange the space to make it conducive for teaching and fellowship. Directly across the hall we utilize a small conference room to provide an hour of fun for the children that occasionally attend. We have a large library of Bible DVDs and we have scheduled a full year of 30-minute videos that have accompanying activities like coloring pages, puzzles and games for children.

We do this every week, every Sunday morning.

Just when I’m feeling like we’re just spinning our wheels and not really making much progress, I recently got feedback from those who attend and have made an amazing discovery.

I find that the strategy of opening our weekly gathering with prayer and meditation while singing along with worship videos is perfectly suited for this family of believers. With no ‘personality’ standing before us, urging us to lift our hands or shout certain phrases, each person is able to settle in and focus their attention upon the Lord. We find that our hearts are able to connect with the Spirit of God in a more intimate way that goes beyond the coercion and persuasion of a “worship leader.”

I’m not opposed to having a worship leader. I’ve been one. I’ve desired to have one. But after eight years of trying to fulfill that image and vision, I finally gave in to what God wanted and what this community of Believers needed.

As we transition from this very personal time of prayer and worship, we take a break for fellowship before shifting into our teaching session. This gives everyone some time to reconnect with one another after a long week.

Our teaching style has been very simplistic. I use power point presentations and video clips to help attendees to engage in the Word of God in a very personal way. I have discovered that our teaching style allows the Holy Spirit to teach people well beyond the words I’m actually saying.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that God is really in control of what is happening in Urban Life. From our youngest members to the grandparents, God is doing something unique in our midst.

I guess it becomes tough for me to adjust to this because I’m so accustomed to measuring success in terms that are quantifiable. But in this strategy, I cannot measure the effectiveness or success of what we’re doing by attendance patterns or financial income.

More and more, I realize that we will never know what is really happening here, until we stand before the Lord at the judgment seat of Christ; when we are rewarded for our service to Him.

More and more I realize that the sense of fulfillment must come out of my relationship WITH God and not just what I think I am accomplishing FOR God. More and more I realize that we have been called to something that is so different and so unique that I must simply do what I see God doing and say what I hear God saying. More and more I realize that I must be more like Jesus. More and more I realize that my goal must simply be to please Him.

Positioned as the Priest in Your Home

Today, I want conclude my 3-blog appeal to the men. I’ve been writing to you guys out of the context of Nehemiah 4: 13 which says: Therefore I positioned men behind the lower parts of the wall, at the openings; and I set the people according to their families, with their swords, their spears, and their bows.

This week I want to share what this means regarding taking on the role to be the first to pray and intercede for your family. Don’t wait for someone else to do it, not even the pastor or some other spiritual leader. You are not only a protector and provider, but you are also a priest in your home.

From the time our children were in kindergarten and all the way through high school graduation, I felt that I was responsible to pray with them every school day. As head of the household, I felt it was my job; not because I was
'the man' but simply because I was the head of the household.

Even though my wife and I shared in that responsibility, I felt I was supposed to take the lead. Even though church traditions promote fond thoughts about a mother’s prayer, I wanted my sons to know that their dad was praying for them.

Every morning I led them in a prayer before they went out the door for school. When the years came in which I needed to drive them to school, I recited this prayer before releasing them from the car. I prayed the same prayer every day. I wanted them to memorize it, without telling them to memorize. However, they can recite it to this day and I have a suspicion they will recite it over their children someday.

I prayed, “Thank You Lord for Christopher, Jonathan and David. Help them to have a good day at school, today. Give them your grace, favor, protection and wisdom; in Jesus’ name,  Amen.”

Sometimes I would add something else if I felt led to do so. Every morning, Monday through Friday, they got this prayer from their dad before they walked out the door or stepped out of the car. Many nights and weekends, I’d go into their rooms and lay my hands on them while they slept and just whispered a prayer of protection or something about their future. This is what I mean when I talk about Nehemiah’s strategy to position men behind the walls.

Today, Carol and I are still positioned on that wall as we’re investing into their college educations and helping them transition into adulthood and life beyond their parents. We’re not sacrificing our son’s futures by holding on to our selfish desires, to do all the things we always wanted to do. We're doing whatever we can to push them forward.

Now it’s all about being in position to prepare them to cover their families.

The same priestly calling applies to praying for my wife. Even though I don’t pray with her as often as I need, I still pray for her all the time. In the late night, I lay my hands on her shoulder and pray over her. This not only closes the gaps in spiritual warfare, but it closes the gaps in our relationship.

It’s hard to be critical and judgmental of your wife, if you’re praying for her. All the things that would irritate you or anger you, melts away as you pray for your spouse. The Spirit of God opens you up to see her struggles, fears and insecurities. Then He gives you wisdom and shows you many ways to help her, heal her, and secure her in your love for her.

You can do it brothers! 

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6b)

Strategies for 21st Century Church Attendees

I read an article about the trends of church attendance in America today. I responded with the following:

I loved the article. It definitely describes the dynamics we have encountered. I took special note of the mid-size church attendance drop and the large and small church attendance increase.

I have my observations which are:  Small church churches and large churches require the least amount of personal time to be volunteered to the church.

Small churches don’t have a lot of activities going on. Larger churches have a larger volunteer base and thus require less time of the individual volunteers. People’s lives are extremely busy and the church is thought of as place to go on my day off or my time off.

Our other observation is that today’s mind set is drastically different than what we experienced from 1990 - 2004.

So far, ALL (no exaggeration) of the people who have came to us from other churches, have been burned out, citing excessive volunteer activity, working in everything from children’s ministry to hospitality. In some cases they were required to spend their own money over and above tithes and offerings, to support the internal church ministries.  We haven’t encountered one single person, coming from a mid-size church, who was not in burn out mode. All they have wanted to do, when they came to our church, was sit and receive.

So my observation is that small churches (like ours) and larger churches tend to grow due to mid-size church burn out.

We have also observed that in the understanding of people today, the local church is just one of a myriad of options for resources for personal development, family issues, counseling and financial assistance. People today can access literally hundreds of other organizations, support groups, and information beyond the scope and realm of their local church.

Today's new and young Believers come with a mindset in which no ONE place or ONE set of people are the primary or even secondary resources for all of their needs.  Even for spiritual needs, they seek a myriad of resources ranging from Joyce Meyer to Oprah.

Next, we have observed a decreased spiritual literacy. For instance, we made a surprising discovery when our teenagers were thrilled to watch Bible story movies on DVD  that are designed for ages 4-8 years old. They had never heard the stories of the Bible and they loved these animated movies.

So we were forced to drastically change our methods and approach to teaching basic Bible doctrine to the level of the people of this era. What we think of as being ministry for children is actual ministry for teens. What we think of as being ministry for teens, is actually what we need for the majority of the congregation.

We found ourselves needing to implement completely radical strategies on Sunday mornings, like hosting a conversation with people instead of presenting a sermon or teaching. Normally, conversation and video clips would be done with the teenagers in a local church, but this strategy became a powerful ministry for our adults in the main service on Sunday mornings.

However, after we did that for a while, attendance again waned as people moved on to other things and went to other places.

Which brings up our final observation about the people of this era: The attention span is very, very short. This is not just the teens and the children. It’s EVERYBODY. That’s because that is our culture today. Everything is a quick status update, a quick Twitter statement, or a quick breaking news sound byte.

We learned that the more we fight against this reality, the faster they’re out the door and moving on to the next thing.

We have dealt with this by playing a 30 second or 1 minute video clip to open the service. We sing only two or three songs in our worship. We don’t elongate the songs. The older members may not like that, but if you want to keep the majority of the folks engaged, we learned that you have to keep it moving. You have to keep the exhortations and encouragement, that's done in-between the songs, down to just a few seconds. We keep the session moving.

We also take a break for refreshments and fellowship in between the worship and the teaching.

When I teach, I use video clips from today’s events to open up my message. I especially use PowerPoint to keep the audience visually engaged. I use large pictures and very little text, unless I’m reading a scripture. I always post the scripture in the PowerPoint so people can read it for themselves.

Finally, I try to keep the message moving because I fully understand; the mental, psychological and spiritual capacity isn't there for the super deep, super spiritual stuff.  Now I know why Jesus told stories. The ability and desire to grasp deeper understanding  won’t come until we gain people's trust and can engage in personal dialogue and instruction.

Honestly,  I cannot determine when a person will be ready for deeper understanding because church attendance is still very sporadic. However, Jesus didn't seem to be in any rush to make that happen, so we’re not going to rush it either.

So there’s a quick review of my personal observations and some of our strategies to deal with a cyber space, facebook, twitter, instagram, iphone, ipad, internet-driven generation.

Living for Something Greater Than Yourself

This week, I want to continue encourage the men. I believe God is assembling an incredible group of guys in our church family. I’ll share something special that has occurred the last two Sundays.

We have a ministry for children. We are very small and attendance is too sporadic to establish a children’s department, so for now, we try to provide ministry for children whenever we have them in attendance.

We had quite a few children to attend a couple of weeks ago and two of our men stepped up to take on the ministry for them. Last Sunday, we again had some children in attendance and two men stepped up to handle it for us. 

In each week, one man showed our 30 minute Bible story video and then asked a few follow-up questions to make sure the children got the point of the story. Then another brother stepped in to help by playing with the children the final half hour. You might say that it took two men to do the work of one woman, but my main point is that we broke all of the stereotypical views of ministry by having the guys step up to minister to our children.

They demonstrated the value of this strategy that Nehemiah implemented: Therefore I positioned men behind the lower parts of the wall, at the openings; and I set the people according to their families, with their swords, their spears, and their bows. Nehemiah 4: 13

These guys answered the calling for the men to take their place in the lower positions of the wall. The lower position is right at the foundation of the wall. I look forward to the day when the men will take the lead in many of the vital areas in our community.

The reason this is important to me as a local pastor is because I know what this will do for the ego and confidence of our men and the emotional security and confidence of the women. Let me explain what I mean.

When it comes to a man’s ego and a woman’s emotions, both genders have a difficult time understanding the other. Here’s what both genders are trying to comprehend. Many women think a man’s ego is just his pride and stubbornness. Men think that a woman’s emotions are just her feelings gone out of control.

Ladies, for men, ego is everything. His ego is way more than just his pride. The ego is the essence of that man. It’s about WHO he is and WHAT he is. It is attached to his motivations, hopes, dreams, insecurities and most vulnerable self. He hides his ego with his pride, or with his anger and stubbornness. The outward expression is merely a shield for the ego.

The man with the damaged ego is that person who no longer wants to do anything with his life. He can sit and do nothing all day, every day, for months and years. Even if he has plans and dreams, he no longer has motivation within himself to get up and get back out into the world. That man is a very serious project that will take GOD to heal and reconstruct.

Having said that though, let’s talk about that brother who IS working and trying to survive in this world. When a wife, mother or sister uses the phrase, ‘Why don’t you do this… why don’t you go here… why don’t you want to fix yourself up, or did I hurt your little ego…’ what she has just communicated is that she doesn’t love him for WHO he is. She just communicated that she only loves him for what he can do for her.

What he heard her say was that she doesn’t accept him. He was once THE MAN, but now all these improvements she wants to make on him means she is either embarrassed by him or she no longer loves him for who he is. (In some situations, that’s exactly what she is saying.) However, I’m not presenting a solution. That’s impossible in a short blog. Right now, I’m presenting a perspective that can lead to solutions.

You see, some people (mostly women) like changing their hair, changing clothes, changing styles, and constantly trying to improve and get better stuff. However, there are many MEN, in particular, who don’t feel this way and have no drive to do this. Their drive is for something else.

Their drive is to find fulfillment in accomplishments. Men must have purpose! After obtaining the goal, then they might notice other things that need to be fixed up. Most women seek self-improvement and home-improvement first, and after that has been accomplished, she can go after the other goals and take on the world. Yes, MEN (most of us anyway) are completely the opposite. We want to take on the world first!

So, why am I saying all of this? For a man to take this position at the foundation of the wall, it means God is speaking to and reaching the ego of that man. God is healing the very essence of who he is. God is strengthening and building that warrior, that protector, that provider, that priest and that drive that HE placed within us to accomplish, and fulfill purpose.

That’s why a couple of our men could step up and take on the ministry for the children, instead of deferring it to our women. It was about being the men they are called to be.

When you’re a boy, you live your life focused on what you always wanted to do and what you always wanted to be. But when you become a man, you can hear the voice of God, speaking to your inner man, that ego. To take this lower-wall position, you have to swallow your pride and let go of the childish dreams. You are now taking on the role to live your life for something greater than yourself.

I’ll stop for now and conclude this discussion next week.

Placed in Position to Protect

Today, I’m thrilled to write this blog to you from my heart. This one is coming from my heart, directly to your home.

To begin, I want to quote a verse from Nehemiah 4: 13 which says:
Therefore I positioned men behind the lower parts of the wall, at the openings; and I set the people according to their families, with their swords, their spears, and their bows.

First of all, I want you to see that the original plan of God was for the heads of households, to be positioned at the lower parts of the wall; at the openings in the walls of our families.

For countless years, our wives, sisters, mothers, and grandmothers have held this position, but I believe that it was the intent of God for MEN (husbands and fathers) to take this role.

The women have been forced to take this role for many reasons. Many were forced to take this role because their family was devastated by divorce, death, or desertion. There are far too many circumstances and situations for me to address in this blog. However, I want to acknowledge that millions of women HAVE done, and ARE doing a phenomenal job in this role.

Actually, I want to acknowledge all single parents (male or female) and grandparents who have stepped up to stand in this position to protect the family. They have fought against the enemies that we talked about during this series of blogs (Sanballat, Tobia, the Ammonites, the Arabs and the Ashdodites) for decades while working two and three jobs, going to school, and raising a family. NO, they weren’t perfect and they didn’t always make the right choices, but they have stood in the gaps for a long time.

Yet, because this wasn’t a role they were meant to take on alone, many have suffered in their bodies, their emotions, and in their relationships. Yes, they have accomplished many things and have seen their families through incredible triumphs, but for many, it has come at a high price to their own well-being.

I would venture to say that most of the people who attend our urban community churches today have been raised primarily by a single parent: a mother, grandmother, or a foster parent. That’s not a judgmental statement. I’m just acknowledging real life and thanking God for His grace and favor.

I also believe this role is talking about our societal and community leadership. We believe it means pastors, politicians, business leaders, educators, entertainers; anyone who has influence, power or control, all have a responsibility to stand in the gaps of the wall.

However, if the person whose supposed to be preventing demonically inspired assaults on our families, has been silent or taken sides with our enemies, then we should expect what we have seen in our families today.

Having said that, I believe this strategy by Nehemiah can be applied to ALL heads of households, whether it is the father, mother, both of them, grandparents or foster parents. Whoever is head of the house needs to understand the SPIRITUAL significance of this position. This is about more than making enough money to make ends meet and helping your children obtain enough education to get free from the cycle of poverty. These are very important aspects of your role, but it also includes setting a standard for the foundational issues in your family’s life. You are to be positioned at the foundation of the wall of your home. You must consider what you are teaching your family by the example of your lifestyle.

In closing my comments for this week, I want to talk to the men in particular. I’m calling the MEN to join me in taking up our position in the opening in the wall. I want to make an appeal to that inner warrior to take your assigned place.

Men have a vital role in taking their place in intercession and prayer for our sisters, our wives, our mothers, and our daughters. I’m tired of watching the men in this city (especially the ones who are 50+ years old like me) who are pursuing young girls that are searching for a father. They’re not looking for a lover. They’re looking to be loved. They’re not looking for a boyfriend. They’re looking for a husband. They’re not looking for a playmate; they’re looking for a soul mate. They’re looking for that guy who will be their champion. She doesn’t want to be a trophy wife. She’s looking for a connection that goes beyond the physical stuff. Sure, for now, she’ll date the old fool, simply because he’s got money. But you better believe that her eyes are still on the young men in her own time zone.

Now ladies, on the other side of this, let me tell you a few of our secrets as men. Many know that this high standard is expected of them, but they never had a father to show them how to reach it. Just like many of you never had a mother to show you how to treat a man, they never had a father to show them how to treat a woman.

Many of us men have never really known what to do. We’ve been screamed at and TOLD what to do, but never SHOWN what to do. So we took our lessons from the guys on the street corner, the guys in the locker room, the guys in the barber shop, the guys that seemed to know how to talk to women, the guys in the pulpit, the guys in the movies, the guys on television, the guys who rapped on stage, and even the guys who broke up with our sisters and mothers.

The ladies may say, ‘How could they listen to those guys?’ and the answer is simple; there wasn’t anybody else. Those were the examples. And what men do is to either follow the examples in front of us, or we try to figure it out for ourselves. Many of us had mothers, sisters and aunts trying to tell us how to be a man, but let me show you how unrealistic that is. Just flip the question. Can a dad teach a girl all she needs to know to become a mature woman, a wife, and a mother?

I don’t say this to take anything away from what the women have done for decades and centuries, but look at the battle strategy of Nehemiah. The MEN were positioned at the wall’s foundation.

That’s why I’m calling the men to take their place in the lower positions of the wall. The lower position is right at the foundation of the wall. If we allow God to place us in the position to protect and lead our families, then perhaps HE can show us how to hold it down. Most men learn things by doing it. We learn as we go. So take your place gentlemen and let’s go!
  
I’ll stop for now and continue with more next week.